Midnight Blues with the Crickets

We have issues. They are getting to be serious. We have crickets living amongst us. Yes INSIDE our house!

Night #1: Kelly (my husband) and I suffer through. I am wondering now where our minds were? Were we expecting the other to get rid of the cricket? Did we think the cricket was going to crawl, jump, or walk out on his own, saying "I'm bustin' this place, these people are weird!" No way, this bugger is right under my side of the bed. I have the better hearing of the two of us. Kell has gotten up once during the night and looked for it in the family room. I shake my head and wonder again when he is going to break down and get that bell-tone hearing aide?

Night #2: Cricket starts whacking his little legs together making that perfect clicking sound. I stick my iPod in and sleep, somehow with a cacophony of instruments and voices and a cricket. Isn't this dangerous for a bi-polar person? I am a little on the "high" side right now. Don't want to be pulling any schizophrenic stuff now do we?? Too many sounds going on directly piped into my ear all night long may not be so good. Hummm.

Night #3: Dragging in from work at 10:30 at night. Proud husband proclaims, "I've got the cricket!" I am thinking oh thank goodness, this body mind and soul has got to have sleep! I am greeted by the pile of goodies that has been living under our bed conveniently with broom and dustpan nearby. Well, OK he must have been too tired to finish up the job! I'll just git her done. Lights out. Mr. cricket is baack. IPod in. YOU try to catch the SOB!! Believe me I have been up plenty of times sneaking around in the dark. I have decent hearing, I definitely know the vicinity where he is. I look like a thief in her underwear sneaking up on her next victim!! Hunch backed, tip-toeing and all... Oh, the cricket is in the garbage can where I swept up the goodies from under the bed. Guess Kell hadn't really got the cricket after all, well kinda, he got it into the pile! I take it to the outside dumpster. Peace for the rest of the night.

Night #4: There's one in the closet! No shizzz! I pull back the clothes in my closet quickly, as if to take it by surprise. Nothing there. No help from Mr. passed-out-in- bed over there. Can't find it. Grab my pillows and go up to Chase's room to sleep.

Night #5: Kelly has done laundry during the day, thinking Mr. cricket is in the laundry. Not a chance in hell. He is in full kicking gear in the closet as lights are out. Kell is lights out as well. Dozer has had an especially exhausting day because he is snoring up a storm. I'm outta here. I'm upstairs now, can't sleep. IPod in, hoping to wind down. It is now 4:30, I'm hungry, as I leave Chase's bedroom to my absolute horror I slowly tip toe down the stairs and into the kitchen...left side of the sink another CRICKET!!!!!

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. WE NEED HELP IN THIS HOUSE!!!

Gold, Silver or Bronze?

The Olympics have begun! It is official, everyone loves them, talks about them and watches them. Except for me! Don't get me wrong I love them, it's un-American not to love the Olympics. Support your country. Support your team. I do, I do. I watched some of the opening ceremonies. Oh my goodness, that birds nest thing, Very cool!

Here is the thing, I just got out of the habit of watching TV several years ago. Negative association. Two reasons. Let me explain. While detoxing off of morphine (6 years ago) I lie in bed and watched country music videos while this nasty drug was exiting my body. You don't feel so good. The world is spinning, you get the shakes, you want to die, get the picture? And then I chose to watch sappy, depressing, albeit great story lined country music videos. Never have I before, never again. (Watched country music videos or taken morphine).

Reason number two. It is impossible to watch any program with my husband. He is pretty much like most men. He is a clicker. If you ask him what he watches, he says "everything." Drives me NUTS. Inevitably IF I am watching something while in the room with him just as it has caught my attention, CLICK, it's gone... and so am I.

So the only Gold, Silver or Bronze that I probably will be talking about is in my make-up palette.

Blue Storms Rolling In

I have 3 sons. I passionately love them all. They are all unique in their own way. I love each of them equally, yet differently because THEY are different. Intuitively we learn to treat people differently because they are different. A unique and special relationship and bond is formed when we understand and honor this.

My youngest son, Tandin moved to college this weekend. He is a Utah State Aggie now and soon he will be bleeding blue. He is an avid sports fan. He sits in his new dorm, head reeling with questions as to what this experience will be like. His friends were everything to him. He went to college alone. This was something that showed strength and character at 18 years old when he did have another choice. Guaranteed there will be storms of many kinds where he has chosen to spend the next 4 years of his life. Logan Utah gets cold. I believe he will experience emotional, mental, spiritual and physical storms as well. He is strong no doubt and he will be a success. Reaching out to others for help is part of that success.

My middle son Chase is in Florida, Brandon Florida to be exact. There is a tropical storm called Fay which is projected to be a possible Hurricane by tomorrow morning. Chase tells me it is supposed to hit Brandon. He seems quite excited. He tells me that the missionaries get pretty jazzed about doing service work after the Hurricanes. I guess this is not so devastating for the missionaries, they do not make their permanent homes in Florida. Interesting how the misfortunate storms for some can be a field of harvest for another.

Chase has had some blues in the mission field. Nothing I can think of that can cure the blues than to help others through a storm...Chase is strong, no doubt he will be a success too!

TJ, my oldest son, what can I say? Survivor to thriver! He is simply amazing. He has survived more storms than most in his 27 years than most people will their whole life. He has turned his life around in a matter of two years and is an absolute delight to be in the presence of. The storms are what made him who he is.

We learn things from the blues that we could not otherwise, and remember there is always sunshine after the storms...

Shadowland of Gray

I believe life comes full circle. Look for the parallels as to who we are, what we are here to learn and everything around us and you will find them. Look for the meaning in the shadows. Everything is not meant to be so obvious.

Does love mean never having to say you're sorry? I doubt that! Ali McGraw, you were wrong! Love hurts. And the circles go round and round. We make choices and we live with them. Sometimes we can change them, sometimes we cannot. How often we find this true in life. We fear love so much when it is there for the taking, then when it is stolen from us we have so many regrets. Youthful love, raising children, aging parents, death. Why love if losing hurts so much?

I believe C.S. Lewis said it best when he said, "the pain now is part of the happiness, that's the deal. " He said this after losing his wife to cancer. He had closed his heart to any kind of true intimacy with anyone until his wife was struck with cancer. Why is it that often times it takes some kind of tragedy to really become vulnerable and love openly?