Tomorrow's Surprises!

A year and a half ago on May 9, 2011 i wrote a blog titled "Until Tomorrow." My closing statement was "I don't know what's ahead, no one ever does, but i trust and move forward with complete faith and optimism for what ever the future holds is..... "as it should be."

Three months later, August 20th, i posted another blog as a follow up entitled "It's Tomorrow."
Little could i fathom the twists and turns, falls and surprises my life would take...

A week or so after my first post "Until Tomorrow" i was sitting in our living room when my husband of 27 years approached me about my indifference towards him and said "we should get a divorce." I agreed. There was little discussion or fighting by then. He had scheduled a few sessions of marriage counseling some years prior, too much, too little, too late, i was exhausted. I'm sure he was exhausted as well, at least for a couple of months.


He went to stay at a nephews cabin for a couple of weeks. I then chose to move out of our home of 18 years. I felt it was the best decision for all concerned. Four months later it was necessary for me to move again; into a 3 room space in my fathers building above my business. It's a comfy place and i now call it home.

My home one year ago 

My living room

My bathroom

My bedroom

Those were some tough, albeit funny times and I'm grateful this Christmas season to not be living amongst a construction zone and sleeping on an air bed. Although PAC loved the obstacle course it provided....

I've always said "you can do anything if you know there's an end in sight." One year ago i had spunk, stamina, guts...and i had no idea what tomorrow's would bring. Like i said, none of us do...

I've come a long way baby from that dusty disaster! I love sleeping on a mattress and I love my jetted tub i got on KSL for $400 bucks. I also laugh about the night i woke up after, who knows how many hours, as i had fallen asleep on that toilet. My long legs worked very nice as a pillow that night.

I hate pity, I hate people to feel sorry for me or for anyone, for that dis empowers all of us. Compassion, empathy, Yes! Entitlement, whining--I've seen the victim role played out in so many ways i could gag; and I've played it before, and I discovered this profound truth, it produces NOTHING! Surprise!

Other profound truths: ...nothing is fair about: unexpected or unexplained death of a loved one or divorce. I've experienced both and it does not matter how you slice it or dice it...if hurts! You love someone and they're gone, at least from this life = PAIN. And if you've been through death or divorce and you did not hurt you are one cold person or you're in denial. Now none of this means you cannot pick up the pieces and have a good life or even a better life? Heavens no! Suffering is necessary--until it is unnecessary (you have to think about that).

People pretend all the time...and i have no problem with the motto "fake it till you make it!" I also have come to know "you think you know people, and then they surprise you!" This year has been full of SURPRISES!

As i wondered back on May 9, 2011---

 3 questions to examine:

What's important to you?
What motivates you?
What do you fear the most?

i'll add 3 more questions this year:

What disappointments have you endured this year?
What surprised you about this disappointment, i.e. did you not expect this to happen?
What have you learned about your experience(s)?

After the experiences of 2011/12 I've learned a LOT! I hope your experiences have done the same for you.

Things change. People change (and sometimes they don't). You accept it/them, or you Don't. But move on, We Must.

I hope you do examine these questions-- and you live true...

 

Something

Something about this song always woos me. It has since loving it in the 70's.

I think i get it now.