Black & White and Needy All Over

As I came home from my buying trip last night only to be greeted by the most zealous of three dogs and one fine smelling happy husband. I pushed my way through the sea of dogs to the kitchen and crouched down to enjoy the puppy greetings. Mr. Dozer in all his 70 pounds of over-anxiousness, pushed me over and was on top of me. He seems as of late to be extremely forward with the pretty ladies so I was quite flattered and giggled as I pushed his 3 inch paws off of me.

Zion seemed to bark incessantly as if to say, "Hey, that is my mom, she is my property, get away, I want her all to myself, everyone back off!" It never works. She has to wait her turn until bed time, then she knows she gets prime spot and curls right by my tummy and contently sleeps there till morning.

Now it is Roxee that I am terribly concerned for. She truly was IN MY FACE all night and all morning. There is such a thing called body space, and she invades it, like really bad! I am used to this and I am okay with her doing it because I figure she needs a little bonding, but this went on for a full hour or more and resumed again this morning, before I awoke. Then she rolled over and insisted on a tummy rub. This little baby does not take NO for an answer either. She gives new meaning to IN YOUR FACE. And she is so cute and obnoxious you can't say no because she needs it so bad you give in no matter how unattractive the white side of her face is, because the black side is absolutely adorable.

I actually realize I need her as much as she needs me...it's just good to be needed!

The Black Abyss

Things get low and then they get really low...the kind where life is not really worth living. I have a friend who felt this way today and tried to take her life. Fortunately for us she did not succeed. This is not her first attempt.

I have felt despair before, but not to this degree and my heart breaks as I think of my friend and the overwhelming pain she endures. Her life has not been easy, those who know her are awe-inspired by her bravery and her ability to overcome the obstacles placed before her. She has more... more obstacles, more challenges, more sad days, they do not go away. Life is a journey and we are in it together and this beautiful lady has taught so many of us more than she will ever know. Unfortunately we obviously have not done so well at communicating the impact she has had on so many.

Some plights in life are by chance others are by choice. We evaluate and accept those we cannot change and move up and away from those that are literally taking us down, down to the deep dark black abyss. Sometimes we get feeling so low that we get hooked on or into the very things that are bringing us down.

I love what my Sister reminds me of regularly. What are you willing to let go of, to get what you want???

Green Far Away Places

This is actually Machu Picchu, a place I will some day visit.

My new business has been requiring some travel. I am on a plane to Vegas, but just finished an article about a woman traveling to Colca Valley, Peru. As I read from the article…"I walk along a dirt path, where clusters of bright-orange chinchircuma flowers lure iridescent-green hummingbirds. Suddenly, Ocelle, a kind of massive theater-in-the-round comes into view. Every shade of green is represented on the steppes. A lone Collagua woman appears to be harvesting something in the distance, and I try to imagine the valley populated by communities of farmers as it was centuries ago"…I felt as if I was there.

This is the type of travel I really want to do.

There are times I wonder about these distant places and if I am ever to go there, will I want to ever come back?

Sly Yellow Foxtails

This mature yellow Foxtail is classified as the "natural enemy weed"! I suppose there are other things in life that are natural enemies to us as well.

One of the things I have found to be quite destructive is making assumptions. We automatically assume that whatever we think to be RIGHT...in OUR minds, often times can turn out to be our own personal enemy. Ironically we created the enemy, justified the enemy, dramatized the enemy and it just plain made life harder than it had to be for ourselves and those around us! Whether it is a situation, a relationship, a belief, or anything in our lives that causes us discomfort, somewhere along the way someone (mostly ourselves) assumed something, and we believed it!

One of my favorite books of all time is The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. The 4 agreements are: 1)Keep your word. 2)Don't take things personally. 3) Don't make assumptions. 4) Do your best.

My thoughts are that we make assumptions about everything because we do not ask and/or answer enough questions! Basic poor communication.

You have probably heard the expression 'Sly as a Fox'. Well I have no desire to be sly. I want to live what ever time I have left as real as possible.

As I 'do my best' to live by these four agreements, it is a continual awareness on my part as to whether or not I am actually even close to living by any one of the agreements. It is much harder than you can imagine. But just being cognitive of these principles has brought some understanding as to the drama we create for ourselves and just how important good communication is for inner peace and happiness.

And finally accepting ourselves for the imperfect beings that we are. I certainly have varying degrees of "BEst" from day to day! Yes, I do realize other people may be more consistent than I and that's okay too!! When I am good I am very very good...when I am bad, well you know the rest of the story...:)

Beware Blackberries Can Dissappoint With Age

Things I knew but was reminded of this past weekend:

Boys can be normal when they return home from their missions.

Some people can pretend to be gracious and non-judgmental, but you can see through their insincerity.

You grow the very most through the tough stuff.

Depression is tough stuff.

Some depression is situational.

Some depression is chemical.

Some depression is both situational and chemical brought on by a
myriad of what I call life lessons... and possible crappy genes.

Romantic love is tough stuff.

Sometimes perspective on depression and/or love doesn't make either one any easier...they are both just damn hard.

Men hurt as much as women do.

Pride and poor communication kill relationships.

You have to watch out for Blackberries they are not always as sweet as they look. Which is a disappointment to say the least.

When I was a little girl I would go to my great grandmother's house in Slaterville and have a fresh bowl of berries and milk. In my mind I thought that they would never end for i was never limited on my consumption, only the amount of sugar i added. This was a time of satisfaction and comfort. Life was simple then and I was loved
unconditionally...

I honestly can't say when the last bowl of berries I had was. I think I complicate the simplicity of them. I make blackberry pie, put them in cereal or yogurt. Going back home is usually best.

It was driven home strong to me this weekend that we all over-complicate life and judge to harshly...this certainly includes ME!