Lessons from a Dog Part III

This should be entitled "Lessons from All My Dogs," and i've had a few..all unique, all special.

Gizmo came to our home because TJ my oldest son, as a 7th grader, desperately wanted a dog. Gizmo was a 4 year old Pug that had just delivered a batch of pups. When she walked into the house with her teets nearly dragging on the ground and worn out from nursing i thought to myself, "what have we got ourselves into?" But her flat nose pug face grew on us and her nipples finally shrunk. My 3 boys loved her and we eventually bred her again and she gave birth to 6 of the cutest puppies you could ever imagine. Gizmo got old and she died in my arms on the way to the vet. I had unknowingly ran over her while she camped her fat self in our drive way. There were no back up cameras back then. Lesson 1: Pay attention to your surroundings. Your actions impact others.

Next came Zion. My Savior Dog. She was all of 4 inches when i brought her home from my "self-discovery trip at 40 years old" to Zion's Canyon. Zion lived 14 years. She played soccer like no other. She could navigate a ball better than any professional soccer player. She even played when she was blind in her last couple of years with us. Lesson #2: Don't let a disability get in the way of having fun. In truth, if we look in the mirror, we all are disabled and have hardship in one way or another.


Roxee and Doxer came next, only a few short months after Zion. Dozer the snaggle toothed Bulldog and Roxee, a crazed runt Boston that spent a lot of time hiding in the closet, simply because when we got her she was near death from an infection in her tail (she had surgery and in time she was a happy healthy dog). She was irritable because she was in pain a lot of the time. That changed in time when her Bulldog brother Dozer, followed her everywhere protecting her from her uncontrollable self. She would jump out of the car window and Dozer would go round her up; scold Roxee and then take her potty in the back yard. They were a pair. They wrestled uncontollably at times with Dozers entire mouth covering her face. They loved each other and they died together in TJ's house fire. Lesson #3:
Get over your pain any way you can and find a trusted partner that looks over you, even if you do dumb things.

Pac healed our hearts from the loss of Dozer and Roxee. His beautiful face and prestine body still turns peoples heads to this day. Pac is now 7 years old and still is a one-man-dog, Tandin is the only one he obeys. No one can control him but Tandin (youngest son of mine). When he visits me he runs furiously, only to say, "my dad, is the only one i respect, the rest of you can go to hell." Lesson #3: You earn loyalty by serving undonditionally, even when it's hard.

Ducati cleaning Cayennes ears

Ducati and Cayenne came shortly after Pac to fill the loss of Dozer and Roxee. TJ (my oldest son) buys in bulk, Having two dogs helped entertain each other and accommodate TJ's busy lifestyle. After losing Dozer and Roxee, Ducati and Cayenne filled that void for TJ. Two more dogs that were paired liked no other. Ducati liked to fight, then she'd lick Cayenne's ears clean.. Lesson #4: Fight like you mean it, then kiss and make up!

For a short 3 weeks we had Winslow. Kevin and i bought this little Aussie-doodle antincipating that Zion was getting near the end and i needed to let her go. Unfortunately on a mid day at the office, Winslow invaded Ducati's eating territory and perished under his large jaws. Lessons learned...dogs are not people, they inately protect their territory, but do not know their boundaries and sometimes things don't turn out so well. Winslow died in my arms as well. Lesson #5: Watch your back, your friends sometimes turn on you, and you will be surprised that is often the ones closest to you.

Winslow

The last night i slept with Zion

One of the hardest things i have ever had to do in my life was to take my most precious companion that had loved me unconditionally and served me for 14 years was on January 17, 2018. I knew it was Zions time to have rest. She died in my arms also, of my choosing, which was best for her...not for me. I had hung on to her too long. She had been blind for 2 years and i carried her most everywhere the last 6 months of her life. This dog had been through more life and strife with me than any other living thing on this earth, and oh how i hated to let her go! Lesson #6: Hold on to those you love, you never know when they are going to be gone.

Five days later i got Daisy, or better known as "Crazy Daisy." She comforts me, and she makes me crazy, she is not an easy dog like Zion was, but i love her all the same. She's funny and has personality plus! Lesson #7: Crazy is ok. It makes life more interesting.

My Crazy Daisy

Each dog and each relationship that comes into our lives teaches us different life lessons. I have heard many times that once someone loses their most beloved pet that they cannot bare to lose another and they chose not to get another dog. That was not the case for me. Daisy does not take the place of Zion, no other dog will EVER replace my Zion. Daisy is just another part of the story of the lessons from a Dog. Lesson #8: If you pay attention every day brings some lesson that can either make your life better or worse. You choose.

Lessons from a Dog

I'm writing about Lessons from a Dog. Not just any ordinary dog! My dog Zion. On Wednesday January 17 at 9:30 a.m. i walked numbly into the animal hospital with my best friend and companion that had been with me through so much life. Fourteen years of it. I am a totally different woman today and Zion was there for the entire journey.

This was no ordinary dog. Her namesake came from a "soul searching" trip at 40 years old when i had to get away from my life and start figuring out what was wrong with me and why was i not happy? It was on that trip that i returned home with Zion, all 4 inches of her. She was the runt.

We went to Zion's Canyon in May 2017. I knew it would probably be the last time i would take her there.

At 40 I had everything life seemed to offer, wonderful children, good-looking husband, successful business, beautiful home, nice cars, and lots of friends. I took my kids to church every Sunday and i had an abundance of family around me. So why was i not happy? I started this blog a few years after getting Zion which chronicles my life lessons and the events that took place to get authentic with myself. Zion was my one constant sidekick. She brought me joy. She comforted me. She made me laugh and she played, boy did she know how to play, that girl could play soccer like nobody's business!

In time everything changes. I knew it was time to let Zion go, frankly i had held on to her too long. It had been such a hard decision to make. She hadn't been in any pain, but at 14, stone cold blind, disoriented most of the time and me dragging her everywhere i went, well, i guess, she was tiring of life. The last few days she was barking (which she rarely did). and then putting a soccer ball in front of her and her ignoring it, that was my cue, she was ready to go home...and oh how i wanted to keep her!

It's interesting to think about all the things that a dog teaches you... as for me, here are the wonderful things that Zion, this beautiful creature taught me:

1.  Accept life as it IS.

2. Play hard. (Maybe you should get yourself a pink ball?)

3. Trust your instincts. I can guarantee you they're probably right.

4. Cuddle at night with someone you trust. It will make your life longer, and the life that you live more satisfying.

I will miss this. We did this every night. What a blessing she was!

5. Talk and sing to your Dog. They listen.

6. Don't worry about what other people think and about what you look like. Zion was skinny and a short-hair. She had numerous coats, winters were hard on her. This last winter, i bought her a pantsuit. When i walked into work with her in that pantsuit, TJ said, "is that dog wearing pants? followed up with a comment to my assistant, "would you put your dog in some shit like that?!" We've laughed about that numerous times!

This was the last coat i bought her just before Christmas for our trip to Arizona. I knew her time was drawing near. I did not know how close. I will cherish that time with her forever!

7. Be vulnerable. Dare to be dependent. Zion depended on me to care for her and in turn she served me more than i served her. It formed Trust. Not neediness. Trust. We humans could learn something from this.

8. Choose to be happy. When you think about it, and process through life's experiences you have 2 choices. You can choose to accept things as they are and be happy, or fight against what is, and be miserable. Zion was always happy, and she had a pretty pampered life, but i was the lucky one to have her!

9. Love unconditionally. No matter how many mistakes i made, Zion was the one constant in my life for 14 years, who loved me unconditionally. She was there, without question, every time. No matter what. Unconditionally.

10. Get another Dog! There will NEVER be another ZION. No not ever. And my heart has room to love another. This little white ball of fur is my angel. I named her Daisy. Daisies make me happy, they are my favorite flower.

Daisy is adjusting quite nicely to her new office home.

This post is dedicated to all those dog lovers who have loved one and lost one. Life goes on. They will never be forgotten, for they marked their spot in more ways than one!

Zion was loved by many. My heart still aches for the bond i had with her. R.I.P. baby girl.

This picture was taken by my Mom when she would watch her and obviously spoil her!

Facing Fears

When i was a little girl i was absolutely frightened of the Boogie Man! Before going to bed my Dad would carry me through the entire house and i would watch him look under every bed, in every closet and the "dark room." The dark room was especially scary. Eventually the assurance from my parents that i was safe helped me to overcome my fear.

Up until 5 years ago I had hardly ever slept alone. I purposely selected an apartment on the 3rd floor when i became single because i was still frightened of being alone at night. Eventually i got over that too.

What are your biggest fears? Failure? Being alone? Not being loved? Losing all your material possessions? Losing your health? Losing your sight? I've had all these fears at one time or another.

The first time i looked into Zion's cloudy eyes I panicked. And i cried. I have watched Zion's eyes get progressively worse, i watch her bump into things, try as she might jump on our bed, and if i don't stay within hearing distance of her in unfamiliar places she gets disoriented. I have wondered if she is frightened? This is Zion as we left work last week (yes she goes to work with me everyday)!

Zion will be 13 on September 12th. She is actually as spunky as ever in familiar places. I have spent more consistent hours with her than anyone in my life and it is hard to imagine living life without her.  I know that day will come..and i will mourn..and i will get another dog. She will never be replaced, but i will share the unconditional love and companionship she taught me with another special dog.

And so as Zion faces fear, i too face the fear of being without her. She has brought me joy, peace, comfort, companionship and unconditional love.

But life goes on. And while Zion's steps are unsure and winding down..Collin's my first grandchild's is just winding up. His first steps were wobbly and unsure, he faces his fear, falls down, and then gets right back up. The circle of life is consistently moving. Facing fear is part of living.

You can hear Collin's fear and then his Dad, my Chase, tell him, "good job." Yes, the circle of life.

Risks

I am a risk taker, albeit maybe less now than in years past. Life lessons do have a way of tempering spirits with the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

At 23 I was full of passion for getting ahead in the world of business. I met challenges with confidence and aggression. At 33 I was in the midst of raising 3 active-gregarious boys, taking on a second business location..and..facing internal battles inside my head about God and religion. The faith of my youth was being challenged and I was in utter confusion. At 43 I was still in a heap of confusion over spiritual things and my feisty enthusiasm for the almighty dollar and prestige was beginning to wane. What I wanted most of all was peace. Peace. Just to Be.  

At 48 I left everything that was familiar and secure to me to excavate what I believed--or did not believe--and what I wanted in love. I fully expected that this risk would pay off…and now…as I approach 53 I find myself in a good place with much less stress than what my life was accustomed to, and just maybe feeling I have found what I’ve been looking for. I have simplified my life in every way, throwing out or giving away old ideas, things and beliefs.

In my life I have experienced so many manifestations that life comes full circle. These days most of my hours are spent working for my son in his auto dealership and body shop. I may have been a risk taker in my day, but T.J. is a risk taker on steroids! I now understand what my mom went through as she worked for me for 24 years. I have learned so much from my son--like I said--full circle. I have learned the greatest lessons from my 3 boys, each different, each unique and each equally and unabashedly loved. These boys have been patient with me and have supported me during some excruciating pain, that’s what happens when you love deeply.

So I return now, full circle, to matters of the heart and risk for what I believed long ago, to Live, Laugh, and Love with reckless abandon. Ok- forget the reckless.

The Sweetest Things in Life are Free

There are days that I still yearn for some kind of familiarity, my old couch, the kitchen I cooked countless meals in for my family, my office, my staff that became my friends. My neighbors that cared for me. And particularly, particularly, my grandogs, Dozer and Roxee that delighted me in ways that only unconditional love from Dogs can be had.

For 3 solid years, change has whipped at me with such velocity i often times felt I would be sucked into the vacuum, never to return. Today is different, today I have hope for a bright future.

I have always spoken openly and candidly about my trials, it has been a source of healing to express myself. It has also been my deepest desire that someone who has read my words may be touched in their own personal way and found strength.

It is a humbling experience, after the dust settles in life, to sit within your own reality and be accountable for the mistakes you've made in life. These are hard times, necessary for growth, and I am grateful for the challenges that have brought me character.

My greatest blessing is the relationship I have with each one of my boys.

The 3 boys when they were younger!

They have stood by me, believed in me, and loved me unconditionally. I was a grown woman, needy and also trusting enough to cry in my sons arms when I was at my lowest. Tandin took me in when there was no where to go, he allowed me to heal, and never lost Faith in me. He mourned along with me as we shared our little apartment together, had talks about school, experienced frustrations when Pac (the menace grandog), didn't mind, and plain just knew where each other was in every way without speaking a word. These months with him I will cherish all the days of my life.

Tan & Me during a hike after a long day of studies

Today is a new chapter in my life. I have love, God and family that surround me and support me.

May I just say this in parting.. Trials and challenges of life teach us the life lessons that mold us. I will be forever indebted to God, my family and friends for believing in me and loving me. The sweetest things in life are free.

Remember...

 

The light will come...

Passions and Mourning and Living Part II

I'm a Believer that when we experience loss we have to go THROUGH it to become more healthy individuals.  

Mourning is a part of growth and a process of living. The five stages of grieving according to Kubler-Ross from one of my favorite books "Life Lessons" include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, in no defined sequence.

I did not post a blog for over a month for i was, and still will be sifting through the 5 stages of grieving until it is done. I cannot say when that will be.

We all get many curve balls, fast balls, slow balls and sliders but in the game of living we adjust to what we are pitched, we swing and keep on...until we hit the home run.

In the previous post Passions and Mourning and Living  i shared "10 things on my Passionate list." Now i will share "10 things i mourn."

"10 things i Mourn"

1.   Those i love going to heaven.

 I AM happy for THEM.

2.   Families breaking down 

WHAT HAPPENS? and WHY???

3.   War and fighting

what IS the story of all these lives and deaths

and what do children learn when they see fighting?

 

4.   Religious self-righteousness and dogma

5.   Addiction

for those who face addiction and win, they have battled the demon and won thru humility and God's hand

6.   Poverty

WHY???

7.   Cruelty in any form 

WHY???

8.   Prejudice and unfair judgment

WHY??? They look happy. Am i not getting something?

9.   Being taken advantage of

(picture may be too personal to post)

10. Betrayal / being lied to

I have experienced all of these things to some degree, in one way or another, and many of you have also. If you have not, you will. If you have not consider yourself inexperienced in living, for these things ARE LIVING.

I wish you enough time necessary for mourning, so that living is more meaningful and compassion is your constant companion. Lori~

Passions and Mourning and Living

Are there some times when few words are necessary, because there is so much to be feeling? I have been going through times of great feeling lately. I do that. Do you?

I for one, can be verbose when passionate about One Thing, and equally reclusive when mourning another.

It is said we can learn from history to make our tomorrows better. And yet, all we really have is now, right now. And that can sound a bit confusing?! Ya, so tie that all up in a pretty little bow... and then make sense of it... Deepak Chopra where are you??

So i have made my list of things i am passionate about; whether they make up my past, present or future and whether the package is torn and tattered or neatly packaged with a pretty little bow, it does define me. What are you passionate about???

10 things on my "passionate list"...

1.  Letting my boys know they are loved unconditionally and amazing for being exactly who they are! They have grown to be ultra amazing and unique men.

2.  Being kind, genuine, authentic and NON-judgmental.

3.  God watches over us and life is eternal.

4.  Dogs were meant to be man's best friend, evidenced by-- they listen and love.

especially when they are in trouble

or want to learn to wash dishes
 with Grams.

5.  Good parents sacrifice. Great parents sacrifice everything. I have Great Parents.

6.  If you have a best friend in your life you are rich--and lucky--most do not. I am rich!

7.  Work hard, but try to figure out how to rest guilt-free.

8.  No one owes you a damn thing.

9.  Quality over Quantity.

10. Don't try to impress or put yourself above others. Phony people that gossip, SUCK.

"10 things I mourn"... to be continued...

Don't Back Down

I am a believer that there are many things that happen in life that do have significant meaning, if we but look, listen and learn. After tonight i won't back down!

BE inspired. Watch this and... Stand Your Ground!

I have malice for no one. I am strong. I follow my conscience and stand up for what is in my heart. I wish the same for you in your journey!

Friendship Life Lessons

Voyage of Discovery