Lessons from a Dog Part III

This should be entitled "Lessons from All My Dogs," and i've had a few..all unique, all special.

Gizmo came to our home because TJ my oldest son, as a 7th grader, desperately wanted a dog. Gizmo was a 4 year old Pug that had just delivered a batch of pups. When she walked into the house with her teets nearly dragging on the ground and worn out from nursing i thought to myself, "what have we got ourselves into?" But her flat nose pug face grew on us and her nipples finally shrunk. My 3 boys loved her and we eventually bred her again and she gave birth to 6 of the cutest puppies you could ever imagine. Gizmo got old and she died in my arms on the way to the vet. I had unknowingly ran over her while she camped her fat self in our drive way. There were no back up cameras back then. Lesson 1: Pay attention to your surroundings. Your actions impact others.

Next came Zion. My Savior Dog. She was all of 4 inches when i brought her home from my "self-discovery trip at 40 years old" to Zion's Canyon. Zion lived 14 years. She played soccer like no other. She could navigate a ball better than any professional soccer player. She even played when she was blind in her last couple of years with us. Lesson #2: Don't let a disability get in the way of having fun. In truth, if we look in the mirror, we all are disabled and have hardship in one way or another.


Roxee and Doxer came next, only a few short months after Zion. Dozer the snaggle toothed Bulldog and Roxee, a crazed runt Boston that spent a lot of time hiding in the closet, simply because when we got her she was near death from an infection in her tail (she had surgery and in time she was a happy healthy dog). She was irritable because she was in pain a lot of the time. That changed in time when her Bulldog brother Dozer, followed her everywhere protecting her from her uncontrollable self. She would jump out of the car window and Dozer would go round her up; scold Roxee and then take her potty in the back yard. They were a pair. They wrestled uncontollably at times with Dozers entire mouth covering her face. They loved each other and they died together in TJ's house fire. Lesson #3:
Get over your pain any way you can and find a trusted partner that looks over you, even if you do dumb things.

Pac healed our hearts from the loss of Dozer and Roxee. His beautiful face and prestine body still turns peoples heads to this day. Pac is now 7 years old and still is a one-man-dog, Tandin is the only one he obeys. No one can control him but Tandin (youngest son of mine). When he visits me he runs furiously, only to say, "my dad, is the only one i respect, the rest of you can go to hell." Lesson #3: You earn loyalty by serving undonditionally, even when it's hard.

Ducati cleaning Cayennes ears

Ducati and Cayenne came shortly after Pac to fill the loss of Dozer and Roxee. TJ (my oldest son) buys in bulk, Having two dogs helped entertain each other and accommodate TJ's busy lifestyle. After losing Dozer and Roxee, Ducati and Cayenne filled that void for TJ. Two more dogs that were paired liked no other. Ducati liked to fight, then she'd lick Cayenne's ears clean.. Lesson #4: Fight like you mean it, then kiss and make up!

For a short 3 weeks we had Winslow. Kevin and i bought this little Aussie-doodle antincipating that Zion was getting near the end and i needed to let her go. Unfortunately on a mid day at the office, Winslow invaded Ducati's eating territory and perished under his large jaws. Lessons learned...dogs are not people, they inately protect their territory, but do not know their boundaries and sometimes things don't turn out so well. Winslow died in my arms as well. Lesson #5: Watch your back, your friends sometimes turn on you, and you will be surprised that is often the ones closest to you.

Winslow

The last night i slept with Zion

One of the hardest things i have ever had to do in my life was to take my most precious companion that had loved me unconditionally and served me for 14 years was on January 17, 2018. I knew it was Zions time to have rest. She died in my arms also, of my choosing, which was best for her...not for me. I had hung on to her too long. She had been blind for 2 years and i carried her most everywhere the last 6 months of her life. This dog had been through more life and strife with me than any other living thing on this earth, and oh how i hated to let her go! Lesson #6: Hold on to those you love, you never know when they are going to be gone.

Five days later i got Daisy, or better known as "Crazy Daisy." She comforts me, and she makes me crazy, she is not an easy dog like Zion was, but i love her all the same. She's funny and has personality plus! Lesson #7: Crazy is ok. It makes life more interesting.

My Crazy Daisy

Each dog and each relationship that comes into our lives teaches us different life lessons. I have heard many times that once someone loses their most beloved pet that they cannot bare to lose another and they chose not to get another dog. That was not the case for me. Daisy does not take the place of Zion, no other dog will EVER replace my Zion. Daisy is just another part of the story of the lessons from a Dog. Lesson #8: If you pay attention every day brings some lesson that can either make your life better or worse. You choose.

Lesson from a Dog Part II

On January 17, 2018 i euthanized Zion, my most beloved Boston Terrier that had been by my side for 14 years. She had been through more life with me than any human could have endured with the ups and downs of my crazy life. Only a dog could have been so loyal and patient with me. She was my best friend and confidante.

Dogs are unconditionally loving, and those of us who have them in their lives are blessed! I still miss Zion every day, for what she taught me was priceless. I miss her skinny body curling up by my tummy at night. And i know that life changes and life goes on!

My last pic with Zion. January 17, 2018

Three months later I now have Daisy. Crazy Daisy! I got her 4 days after i let Zion have her peace in heaven. Crazy Daisy has brought me so much joy.. she is a challenge, for she is a puppy. It has been a lot of lost sleep, hundreds of dollars, (laptop cords, phone charger cords, earbuds, you name it, she chews it). She has pooped and peed in my house and at work, thank goodness, it is rarely anymore. Yay progress! We are enrolled in puppy school. I am a committed dog owner, and i love my dogs. Those who have puppies and say that they were house broken in 5 days, never chewed anything and their dogs don't bark? I call bullshit.

It's funny because as dog owners we kinda like to stick to the breeds we love. When Zion was declining i was determined to find another runt Boston. When i wised up, i knew that was a self defeating-no-win situation. I now love Daisy! She is totally different than Zion. Zion was as low maintenance as they come. Daisy's nickname is "StinkenStein" for she needs a bath 2 times a week. She needs to go to the groomer, i never spent a penny on Zion at the groomer. Daisy is a YorkiPoo. She is adorable when she is groomed, and she does look like she is a homeless beggar when she goes 7 days without a bath..and i'm a little busy these days, so that happens! Perspective people, she is a dog.

"StinkenStein" before her blow dry

Daisy AKA "StinkenStein" after her blow dry

I posted 10 life lessons you can learn from your dog when Zion died. As life goes we have many lessons to learn.

http://wildflowersandweeds.blogspot.com/2018/02/lessons-from-dog.html when Zion died.

Tonight i only have 3 lessons from a (my) dog:

1. Don't underestimate the enthusiasm, innocence and strength of youth, they are our future. Puppies, millennial's, they all get a bad rap. I love them. The rules still remain the same; those who are willing to work hard and pay the price, rise to the top and are frankly delightful, and it takes working together to create that!

2. Be who you are and tell the truth. Dogs have a strong sense about things, and i believe i do as well..I found out in puppy class that dogs can smell 15 miles away and can hear 3 miles away! WOW, i wish i had that much instinct. We humans distort the truth and twist things around; we also justify our bad behavior, it's just the way it is. Dogs are always, just dogs.

3. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. I've been a business owner or boss for most of my life. It's not a popular job. The rule is, those who leave their employment will put blame on the boss or the company, and take no responsibility themselves, that is human nature. Personal accountability is a hard thing. Daisy bites me all the time, she's young, she's learning, and with good training, lots of love and consistency, she will grow out of it and realize that i am the one who takes care of her and loves everything about her, even when she is a challenge, because that is what unconditional love is.

Zion was as feisty as they come and her teeth were razor sharp, but in time they dulled and she learned her manners. In my eyes Zion was the perfect dog. I miss her every day. Daisy and i are learning together. She doesn't replace Zion. I have plenty of love for her too, that's the way love is.

This was in 2008, when both Zion and i were young!

And i love my Crazy Daisy!

A priceless moment when Daisy is quiet and has exhausted herself!

Facing Fears

When i was a little girl i was absolutely frightened of the Boogie Man! Before going to bed my Dad would carry me through the entire house and i would watch him look under every bed, in every closet and the "dark room." The dark room was especially scary. Eventually the assurance from my parents that i was safe helped me to overcome my fear.

Up until 5 years ago I had hardly ever slept alone. I purposely selected an apartment on the 3rd floor when i became single because i was still frightened of being alone at night. Eventually i got over that too.

What are your biggest fears? Failure? Being alone? Not being loved? Losing all your material possessions? Losing your health? Losing your sight? I've had all these fears at one time or another.

The first time i looked into Zion's cloudy eyes I panicked. And i cried. I have watched Zion's eyes get progressively worse, i watch her bump into things, try as she might jump on our bed, and if i don't stay within hearing distance of her in unfamiliar places she gets disoriented. I have wondered if she is frightened? This is Zion as we left work last week (yes she goes to work with me everyday)!

Zion will be 13 on September 12th. She is actually as spunky as ever in familiar places. I have spent more consistent hours with her than anyone in my life and it is hard to imagine living life without her.  I know that day will come..and i will mourn..and i will get another dog. She will never be replaced, but i will share the unconditional love and companionship she taught me with another special dog.

And so as Zion faces fear, i too face the fear of being without her. She has brought me joy, peace, comfort, companionship and unconditional love.

But life goes on. And while Zion's steps are unsure and winding down..Collin's my first grandchild's is just winding up. His first steps were wobbly and unsure, he faces his fear, falls down, and then gets right back up. The circle of life is consistently moving. Facing fear is part of living.

You can hear Collin's fear and then his Dad, my Chase, tell him, "good job." Yes, the circle of life.

Blind-Eyed Faith

I've looked into these eyes many times for comfort, understanding, unconditional love and peace. I have whispered to my baby girl late at night or in the middle of the afternoon when I could not get out of bed, "You're my best friend."

It's strange what we find comfort in, oh yes, it is most often the smallest of things. Zion now weighing in at just under 11 pounds has my heart wrapped around hers for she has been by my side almost non-stop from shopping, sleeping, and working to playing, listening, and comforting. I got this Bug-Eyed Baby when her entire Self fit in the palm of my hand 10 years ago. Having her come into my life was heaven-sent sheer inspiration for my heart needed healing while I was on a personal hiking retreat in Zion's Canyon.

Zion and I have taken many road trips together, just the two of us. Our bonding time began as we made our journey home together for the first time, she was 9 weeks old, 5 inches long, tender yet the spit-fire-runt of the litter. On our first journey home from Southern Utah she was tiny enough to ride on the top of my shoulder. Her head was so big compared to her body that when she drank from the water bowl the gravity of her head made her hind legs come off the floor. Oh how I loved this dog from the moment I set eyes on her, but now, now, the love and healing I have received from and through her runs through my blood.

Life changes. We change. Our dogs get older. They go blind. Zion is going blind and a dagger has pierced my heart for I see and feel her fear now as she is trying to navigate her way through murky eyes. She is tenacious and will adjust. She is still playing soccer like Nobody's business. She is also feeling her way by the touch of her nose, the sounds that she hears and the shadows that she sees.

We mourn these things when we see those we love suffer. I suppose that we particularly protect, and feel a great sense to safeguard those who cannot do it for themselves. Little children. Animals. What is so heart wrenching is I cannot explain to her what is happening, nevertheless we love, live and laugh through blind-eyed faith each day and hold on to the sweet moments...

Indoor Soccer w/ Zion

Depression: Do you get it?

I have struggled to get out of bed the past two months. Pushing myself to take care of business has been daunting. I am blessed to have a staff that is supportive and understanding of both my situation and my chemical challenges. Situational depression is one thing, chemical depression is altogether another. It invades my thoughts, my ability to rationalize and takes away hope. If you have experienced this you understand. If not you will be critical, think that if she "ate better, exercised, took vitamins, prayed harder, went to church, wasn't getting divorced, worked more, worked less, wasn't going to school, just went to school and gave up her business, gave up school and just ran her business, got in the outdoors, will feel better when it's summer, reached out more"...and on and on and on it goes. The advice and know-it-all-do-gooder's are endless. I appreciate them. They mean well. 

Mangy damned black dog

Everyone has an opinion, everyone has good intentions of what another SHOULD do with their lives. I take no offense, they're probably right, I've tried them all! And I still seem to catch this damned black dog. Hate him, loathe him, fear him much much more than death...but endure him I shall!

For those of you who now, or any time in the past, have experienced depression in any degree, my deepest love and compassion goes out to you. I get it and this too shall pass.

Zion. Look at the compassion in her eyes. By my side for 9 years.

My only advice today, get a dog. ;) Good for the soul, depression or not.

A Fine Balance

Dozer was a fine balance.

Look at this face! Do you see both masculine and feminine qualities? The jaw so set, strong, one tooth jutting forward to warn of determination, perseverance and purpose. Then peer into those brown eyes, they are nearly human, his old soul, full of complete accepting, unconditional and tender love. His concern and how to serve those he loved spoke louder than words. Dozer was a perfect balance of feminine and masculine. That was what was so unique about this special dog, you felt safe and protected while in his presence, and loved no matter what!

As i read, study, and take classes that reflect upon history, gender differences, politics and humanity, finding a balance by allowing it to evolve naturally seems to be such an important necessity in life; yet we are so often polarized between the giving and taking of all things, particularly love.

spoon feeding Zion--she is nearly human

Human behavior is generally quite consistent. Sometimes my boys will shock me, but most often i predict with ease how they react to circumstances or any given situation. The same goes for close family members and friends. One sure thing is Zion's behavior, my faithful Boston terrier. I suppose this is why dog is what has been phrased as, "man's best friend" for their unconditional love is endearing to us as humans.

women soldiers--ask their comrades? Don't judge it unless you've been there

I love being a woman. I also don't mind being a leader when necessary, however being labeled as a "boss," well, not so much. A boss or bossy creates a negative connotation to me. I hope after 20 plus years of being a "boss" i have learned to lead rather than boss people. It certainly has taken some hard lessons down the school of hard knocks (I have many years there, still not graduated). We categorize behaviors by their masculine and feminine nature, hopefully recognizing one not being better than another, just different.
All men and all women resume both masculine and feminine qualities, celebrating and recognizing both in ourselves can bring satisfaction and joy. This is a fine balance, no matter what gender you are.

male nurses? ask their patients--don't judge unless you know

Too Much of a Good THing

It was a busy day at the salon today, but not too busy to snap these priceless pic's of Zion.

"How long do I have to stay in this air conditioned office? I'm freezing!"

Yes that's a sweater in August. And she is lying on the hot pavement.

One dog's bliss is another's misery? Could it be possible we sometimes get too much of a good thing? Zion has no idea how good she has it, but then again maybe she does.

I sure appreciate my slippers and sweater... in August.

Pigtails

Yesterday I said to Zion, "the best things in life are free...or a buck ninety-nine." I was referring to my recent purchased of Chips Ahoy cookies that i got at the bargain price of $1.99.

I just want to play soccer Mom.

I like simple things, cookies, pigtails and my Dad. This morning on the drive to the farm to see my Dad I called Mom and wished her a "Happy Father's Day." I thanked her for all the times she had brought out power tools to help me hang or fix things, she's a handy woman. She laughed and asked, "well did you wish your Dad, Happy Mother's Day, on Mother's Day?" I said, "no, but I should have because he put my hair in the best pigtails in grade school!" We had a great laugh because i loved how my Dad's fingers were the right size for nice ringlets; Mom's fingers were too small. Dad's hands are massive and he got pretty good at putting a hair pin in too.

One of our Vegas Trips

Today as I ate breakfast in the same place i grew up in, looking out the same window at the farm, circumstances in our lives have changed; Rondy, Mom #2 sat to my left, Sherry and Dave my brother and sister were not there and I have raised my 3 boys. It was quiet yet peaceful, the cows have been replaced by horses and there is beauty all around because there is still love in that little old home on the farm. Lives change but love is eternal...and life is eternal...all is well.

After storms God sends Rainbows

The MoNsTer in Me!

I have a bazillion things to do--clean the house, shop at the store--for you Mormons now, no bursting into song --"so we can be ready for Sunday."

I wish I felt like singing, the dogs miss my singing, I haven't been singing as much lately. I'm not depressed.........I'm situationally challenged.

I should be working at the salon/boutique, working in my office, doing homework, yada yada. What I should do and what I feel like doing are two completely different things...but as it goes I have my trusty little lap top and my faithful little lap dog, and I surf the day away.

I do my best not to guilt myself, Dad always said, "if I miss this meeting, there will be another." And then that sh** eating grin would appear on his face, his head would bob slightly from shoulder to shoulder in mischievous disdain and you could hear a slight chuckle. Wow do I love reality.  There is always plenty of meetings, housework, homework and shopping, even for a Saint...and excuse me, but I'm not a Saint, I'm a farmers daughter, occasionally I have the mouth to prove it, (sh, I mean oops)!

I have learned that the list of stuff isn't going away, and I'm pretty sure this icky feeling in my chest will. I could do ALL that stuff (or get started,) and ignore this icky feeling, but "feeling" it is part of "healing."

I am reading, or rather re-reading, a book I read years ago. I have referred to many chapters on several occasions over the past 5 years. I love books where at the beginning of chapters are thoughts or poems that pertain to the book that make you think or give some type of insight. Here is the thought at the beginning of Chapter 9 from "Enchanted Love" by Marianne Williamson, entitled "Removing the Ghosts"

"There are monsters in my past, my darling.

So what? I have a few in mine. But I am not the monster.

I am not the monster, and the monster is not me."

When I was a little girl I was terrified of monsters! So much so that my dad had to carry me in his arms and show me every closet and look under every bed. Together we would walk through our basement, opening the "darkroom" door was the scariest! This was surely the place the "monsters" would be waiting. But my dad was bigger and stronger than any of them! I could have never trusted, I could have never slept had we not done this ritual every night. I cannot remember what frightened me so much, nor how long it continued, but eventually I did learn to trust.

I look back and see that, yes, the monster was in me...the monster is always in us. Can we accept that, can we actually see that...and move past it? Face my fears? I can now. Sometimes I just need a day (or two,) on, off, in or out of "reality."  Doesn't really matter to me which preposition you use. I suppose it's all about how You look at it.

Seriously, I Whisper to My Dogs

I love the Dog Whisperer. I pretty much think Cesar Milan rocks. Not because of his beautiful white teeth or the way he snaps his fingers and dogs obey, but because he is spiritually in tune with a deeper connection of life. Am I crazy (don’t answer that), or what?

But seriously, if you watch this show enough times, and really watch it and learn, you will catch this inner connection of nature and nurture, you will see the way in which our energy influences so much around us…and most of the time, we as humans are completely unaware!

So we have our 3 dogs, Zion the privileged princess, who is my dog that I hate to admit, wears designer clothes and a personalized bling bling collar. Then there is Dozer, my faithful patrolling granddog that would not hurt a flea, yet I will admit has scared half the neighborhood so much that I had to rescue him from the pound after one overly dramatic mother got carried away and called animal control. She apparently had not been “Dozer Savvy” at the time. And then there is Roxee, she is Dozer’s responsibility in life, for which he shuttles her out to potty and follows her around to make sure his 65 pounds is protecting her deviant 12 lbs.! This is difficult, she picks fights on anything that is two to five hundred times her size. Big dogs, horse and such, she will leap out of car windows if they look at her wrong. We have had some scenes with this special needs pup. So we have had partial to full custody of the two Yeawhos for the past few years while Disneyland Dog Dad is still filling his oats. It keeps the house full and we love the nurturing opportunities as we patiently wait for the grandchildren to come along…



Dozer dominating Roxee to get what he wants in the "pre" Dog Whisperer days.






Now back to Cesar…last episode he was dealing with an “unbalanced dog” named Chloe from Boston. She and her owner make the trip to go to the dog psychology center as a last stitch effort in hopes of saving her. The dog has been traumatized and whenever she encounters other dogs she bites her owner. I won’t go into a play by play of the episode, but what I found fascinating was after Cesar worked with her, Chloe the dog did this little dance, he recognized it as her fully surrendering to the pack. Chloe wanted to play and be a part of the pack. She trusted in Cesar and shortly thereafter trusted the pack. Cesar immediately pulled the leash off after she did this adorable little dance, which to a lay person they may not have caught what she was doing, but in the replay you definitely caught the playfulness of her behavior. Cesar's quick reaction to allow her to enjoy and become part of the pack was exactly what Chloe needed to release her fears. She ran playfully with the other dogs with sheer enjoyment. Her owner sat in disbelief! Cesar explained how he had to honor the dogs body language and reward her immediately for she had let go of her fears.

Cesar says, “I rehabilitate dogs, I train people.” I think that is hilarious, because in every instance we always think that something is WRONG with the dog, but dogs react to us as humans. We as humans must lead dogs with a calm and aggressive manner for the dogs to be happy and balanced.

I see parallels in this as we relate to one another as people. I believe we feel one anothers energy a great deal, but do not acknowledge it in our brains. I also believe IF we reacted in calm and confident manners to many situations we would have favorable outcomes. I replaced aggressive with confident on purpose. So that is the “lesson” in this blog…you have to think about it…

Just so you know the progress with Dozer and Roxee, Dozer is no longer chasing little kids and knocking them down to steal their stuffed animals, yes, all I have to do is calmly say “HEY!” And Roxee no longer charges the TV when animals come on the screen. Her favorite show is the Dog Whisperer too. In the beginning she had to lie on her back on the couch next to me to watch the show (a tip from Cesar which calms dogs). She now is able to sit right next to me (and sit on her haunch she does) while we watch. If she starts shaking and gets a little excited, I just lean over and, I whisper to her! What do I say? That’s between Roxee and me.
This is Roxee pre "Dog Whisper" days (2009) attacking another dog on TV, we've come along way baby!

I Have a Dog

I have a dog. This dog to be exact.
ZION.










I also have graciously, no custody battle whatsoever, am the guardian of these two yeawhoo's.




May I introduce Roxee Lynn Peepee Lovedog and Mr. Dozer, my GranDogs.






My son Tj, the intense, full of life child that he is, is running TJ Chapman Auto. He also runs a very full social agenda. Most humans could not keep up! This child does it well.

I can't bear the thought of Roxee and Dozer home alone, they show signs of depression and it tugs at my heart. I bought them beds of their own. Tj knew it was for the best.

When my babies go visit their Dad they are more excited than two cats on a hot tin roof. When I call to check on them Tj complains that Dozer has terrible gas and is embarrassing him in front of his dates or clearing the office (so funny) when he takes him to work. We discuss his diet, nothing different. Then I find out Tj scolds Doz! For something beyond his control? It hits me; he is having granmog separation anxiety! He comes back to Granmog's and within a day, you guessed it, flatulence, gone! Good dog!!

When Doz is at Granmog's he is, Alpha in Charge. He patrols the neighborhood. He is especially protective of Roxee and rules the toys, which rubs Zion wrong in the worst of ways. Zion would rather play than eat.

I think I need grandchildren. Not that I worry about it in the least. It is just that when I go places and there is a dog I stop and talk to the dog, and then to the owner. Do you know how much time you can spend talking to someone about their dog's personality! I know I'm crazy but this is nuts!!

When I was a little girl on the farm I loved dogs. I gave them haircuts (not pretty). I especially loved assisting in delivering Aphro's 13 St. Bernard puppies. I lost touch loving dogs during my 20’s and 30’s. We had a couple of dogs for the boys, but I never bonded with them. That was a time in my life where everything was so fast and my priorities looked much different than they do now.

Today I recognize my need to be nurtured. One way I get this unconditionally is through my dogs. Zion is my ever faithful companion, if she is not right by my side, which is rare, I only have to call, or pat by where I am and she happily comes and contently curls up as close to me as she can. When I had the epiphany that I was missing a dog (while hiking alone in Zion's Canyon), a new calmness came over me. When I brought her home from that trip she was 9 weeks old and fit in the palm of my hand. Unaware of how truly unique and special she was, all 4 inches of her, she has been my soothing balm of Gilead more times than I can count.

Dogs are not the answer for nurturing everyone. There are many ways to be nurtured. If you feel tense, you may not be getting enough nurturing. If you feel anger, you may not be getting enough nurturing. If you feel lonely, you may not be getting enough nurturing. If you feel sad, you may not be getting enough nurturing. Did you get my point???

Nurturing is at the very essence of the sustenance of life. Think of a beautiful new batch of puppies playing with their sibling and then being nurtured by the very bosom of the one who bore them. Is this not unconditional love and nurturing at its finest? Oh we can learn a lot from the innocence of dogs and children…no pretense, no guile, no ego, no worries.

The important thing and my point: get a healthy dose of nurturing daily! Preferably several doses daily! And here is the secret, you have to seek it...dogs do! They have no ego?! Huh?!

People could learn so much from dogs, unabashed unconditional love, and if you want to play they are ready and willing. If not they'll wait, no problem, nothing personal, no guilt (if you feel guilt that's your nature not theirs).

So if you need a hug, go hug a dog. A daily dose is good for the soul.

That's why I have a dog...

Black & White and Needy All Over

As I came home from my buying trip last night only to be greeted by the most zealous of three dogs and one fine smelling happy husband. I pushed my way through the sea of dogs to the kitchen and crouched down to enjoy the puppy greetings. Mr. Dozer in all his 70 pounds of over-anxiousness, pushed me over and was on top of me. He seems as of late to be extremely forward with the pretty ladies so I was quite flattered and giggled as I pushed his 3 inch paws off of me.

Zion seemed to bark incessantly as if to say, "Hey, that is my mom, she is my property, get away, I want her all to myself, everyone back off!" It never works. She has to wait her turn until bed time, then she knows she gets prime spot and curls right by my tummy and contently sleeps there till morning.

Now it is Roxee that I am terribly concerned for. She truly was IN MY FACE all night and all morning. There is such a thing called body space, and she invades it, like really bad! I am used to this and I am okay with her doing it because I figure she needs a little bonding, but this went on for a full hour or more and resumed again this morning, before I awoke. Then she rolled over and insisted on a tummy rub. This little baby does not take NO for an answer either. She gives new meaning to IN YOUR FACE. And she is so cute and obnoxious you can't say no because she needs it so bad you give in no matter how unattractive the white side of her face is, because the black side is absolutely adorable.

I actually realize I need her as much as she needs me...it's just good to be needed!

My Christmas Eve White Blanket of Peace

I am dogsitting for the holiday! This beautiful white ball of fur is Izzy. Izzy and my dog Zion are best friends. Don't let their difference in size fool you. Zion generally dominates when it comes to play time with toys, but that is just because Izzy is so mild mannered and has the disposition of a Saint. Zion and Izzy know what it means to comfort a soul in need. For that they are special beyond words...and spoiled beyond comprehension.

Izzy has been with us for a few days now and it is amazing to get to know the personality of a dog. They differ just as humans. Izzy's family was hit by tragedy last March. They lost their daughter in a skiing accident and I believe it is by no accident that Izzy was meant to be in their home to help heal and soothe them during their times of need. As I work in my home office I have had a picture of Izzy and Jocie that I took 3 weeks prior to her accident hanging to the left of my screen. It helps remind me of what Jocie taught me. One: that life is fragile and it can change in an instant. Two: Love purely, unconditionally and vivaciously. Three: Go BIG or Go HOME.This was her motto and she lived by it thoroughly.

Jocie went home on March 22, 2008. Anyone that knew her has never been the same for she had a "big personality". She was as full of life as her red hair was beautiful, but for as much as we do not understand why tragedies happen we must trust in the Lord in all His goodness and know that He will take care of us through the good and the bad. Life IS hard. I don't believe it was meant to be easy because if you really reflect on your life and ask yourself when have I grown the most, I think you will discover it is when life is the toughest. When you have to claw your way out of darkness is when you really find out who you are and what is really important to you.

All to often we make Christmas about us. How tired we are, how many presents WE gave, got, wrapped. How much WE cooked, cleaned, worked, ate, partied, shopped. Every time I catch on to that old inkling of when you lose yourself you will find yourself low and behold it works!! It's a funny thing. When I get caught up in myself...that is when I am the most miserable.

Christ was ALWAYS the perfect example. Humble, meek, mild, patient, long suffering, understanding, kind, charitable. We complicate a lot of things. This life really is short. It is meant to be happy, joyful and peaceful. Today I am grateful to snuggle up to a white blanket of peace along with my consistent companion Zion.

Two of my three boys will be gone this Christmas. There are no presents under our tree this year. Our boys are older, our extended family is under different circumstances this year. Nothing however seems amiss. My glass is always half full because that is the perspective I choose (most of the time). No one was a better example of standing up though being spat upon, beaten, teased, tested, whipped, homeless and forsaken. After all the dumb things I have done He has NEVER forsaken me!

I am grateful to be able to reflect and remember Christ this CHRISTmas and to have had a white blanket of peace come to me.

3 Black Noses and a Lady

I am afraid I have become the enabler of bad behavior! Actually I have probably done more than my share all my life. It's a hard habit to break when you are the people-pleaser peace-maker kind of person. All things are very good-- in moderation. I don't have all the answers that's for sure.

So Roxee Lynn snores in bed. Actually all 3 dogs snore, and I just put my iPod in and try to sing myself back to sleep. We only have a queen size bed. I can deal with a couple of very small Bostons in my bed in fact I rather love the warmth and security. The bed accommodates four just fine Mr. Dozer is welcome in off hours. Eleven to seven are pretty well designated for my husband. Here is the problem...if I have been gone all day I feel Dozer needs the togetherness of the family and not to be singled out by making him sleep on the couch in the other room or at the foot of our bed. He's a freaking DOG (I know)! And I love him, I cuddle him, play with him, pick up after him, scold him, feed him, clean out the boogers in his eyes for him and I feel his tender little heart. What can I say? So some nights it's the 5 of us (and it ain't pretty). My legs feel like they are in a mummy sleeping bag made out of dog. We usually get to fore go the 5 a.m. growl potty call from Mr. Dozer because his bladder does not seem to bother him so much when he feels the warmth of Gramog's legs all night. Funny thing?

My son doesn't care about the sleeping arrangements. When he takes his booboo's on "his weekends" they sleep with him too. But he is NOT happy about my indulgence with his babies and sharing my toast, okay little snippets of meat, maybe a little cookie here and there, ya they actually ate broccoli with me the other day. OK, so we eat all of our meals together!!! The 3 kids are gone now and I just have 3 different pair of hungry eyes looking at me when I eat! If I don't share they love me all the same, but what the heck they love people food sooooo much. Dozer sometimes whines when I am getting to the end of my toast. Is this bad behavior, poor dog etiquette, have I enabled him? I think he is an awfully smart bulldog. Gramog is proud!

It is said that we let our grandchildren (or grandog's) get away with more than we would our own children. WELL I'LL BE! Is this not how it should be? Is there proper order in how things are to be done, those'unwritten rules'? Grandparents, spouses, even step parents until they have earned the respect and trust(which takes time)should be there to support and give unconditional love to family (dogs are family too ya know). Do we disempower the actual one who should be in charge of doing the parenting, the parent(s) themselves when we overpower them because we think we are the ones who have all the answers? Who is to say you are right? Just a thought??? I realize some grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. have custodial rights and they ARE the designated authority and primary disciplinarian and caretaker in the child's...or dogs life, whatever the situation may be.

I am not advocating letting children get away with bad destructive behavior that is violating you. That is called setting YOUR BOUNDARIES. There is a difference. But that is about you, not them and not the parents or any other relationship you may be in. We get the lines crossed often. We place judgment often on everyone and everything and do not look in the mirror.

As I finish this entry I have 2 black nosed short haired love dogs in my lap and I am having a hard time reaching the keyboard, but I manage. The other big lug WILL NOT fit or I would probably try to finagle it. His black nose rests on the red blanket in my lap waiting for a smidgen of toast.

Some bad behavior is just plain worth it...at least in this ladies mind. I AM a Gramog you know!

Innocent Brown Eyes

I LOVE DOGS! This is my Grandog Dozer. I have custody of him most of the time. My oldest son is busy, single and when Dozer and Roxee (his Boston) are at home with him they get depressed. Seriously! It just kills me. So they live with me, they have visitation with their Dad. He is a fun Dad. He puts on big slippers and lets Dozer chase him around the house. Dozer loves it! But it is not enough to keep a Bulldog happy. At Grandmog's house he has full rein, especially when Grandpog is gone.

I did not always connect with dogs or nature as I do now. I suppose it was when I spent 9 months in bed getting quiet enough to figure out life and what was important that I slowed down and really saw what was around me. I love the innocence and loyalty of dogs. Those nine months I spent in bed I had the most loyal companion one could ever have, MY dog, Zion. Her name sake comes from the time I spent wandering in Zion's Canyon. Sound weird? Whatev- life is weird. I figured a lot out there and have continued to do so ever since. I am crazy about my dog. She is more than just a dog, she is a reminder to me of all I have learned that is important. Like finding and staying true to myself. Some people never figure that out. Dogs never have to try. They are innocent and real no matter what. How refreshing. We humans could take some lessons from dogs.

If I don't want to play, Zion never takes it personal. She loves me and treats me the same. No mind games. She loves me at my best and my worst. Believe me she has seen it all: laughing, crying, sleeping comas, mad as hell, euphoric, you name it, she seems to just BE...her. I know she assumes nothing of me, which means I can be, huh, me! And she always does her best in our relationship, which is just easy for her, because she never tries to be anything but a dog. Hummmm? We could all learn something from these beautiful creatures.

I am crazy about these brown eyed furry friends in my home. I would have never thought in a million years I would have allowed 3 dogs in my home. I will put up with dog toys and the constant bell ring (to go outside), and Dozer taking up the couch, for a whole lot of innocent brown eyed lovin'.