My good Doc recommended the book
"The Secret Life of Bee's" a few years ago and I enjoyed it very much. Recently I watched the movie and I enjoyed it also. There is a particular line from the movie which caught me and I have shared it with a few people that I love because it was so profound.
It has cause for contemplation...
"Sometimes not Feeling is the only way you can Survive."
I see this often; in fact I have lived this myself.
To not feel. To numb ourselves...we do this in so many different ways. Here are a few of the ways I can think of off the top of my head, (I've done most of them)
work, sports, computers, drugs, alcohol, and the list goes on. It also comes out in our personalities (done this too),
bitterness, being aloof, distant, or playing the victim.
Life deals us many challenges and often times we face tragedies. I had a certain kind of life prior to my brother's death and a different one after. I became a
victim of so many things after, and I played the
martyr at times as well. What I have personally come to realize is that challenges and tragedies in life are the way in which
character is built, and
we either get life or we become victims of it. Our ability to reach out to others and to find the lesson that was buried amongst the heartache is where the happiness and true joys in life are found.
There is a period of time that
to survive we must be numb for a while. Slowly the numbness or the "not feeling" wears off and we peel away the layers of the heartaches and we become better. We accept what we cannot change. We change those things we can, and we recognize the things we cannot and move forward.
We make our choices. We simplify. We uncomplicate our lives and we find the joy again or at least we hope we do. This is Dozer my Grandog after a Bee stung him.
He learned quickly. He's never been stung again. I wish I could have learned as quickly.
When we exercise we break down the muscle and then it rebuilds itself only to come back stronger. Life really is no different. We either choose to have things that build us up, such as a
good environment,
positive behaviors and the most important is
uplifting people around us to support us in our lives.
These are all choices we have.
It takes backbone to lead the lives we want. Dr. Phil says, "
You cannot change what you don't acknowledge." For me life has always been about improvement, making things better, and getting ahead. I still feel the same, however my perspective has shifted a great deal over the last year as I have stopped to take a great big
inventory of my life. I tossed a lot of things I did not need or were not good for me (this was hard). I counted the most important things, I counted the things I valued and I now try to allocated my time in those areas. I'm enjoying my journey more, rather than the destination being my primary focus. This is a definite switch for me.
By no means have I got it all figured out, but have you ever tried to figure out how
Bee's do what they do?
I'm amazed to know the importance of such a little creatures effect on my life. Sometimes you do not have to figure it all out. Sometimes the secrets lie deep in your heart and you follow your instincts for they generally do not lead you astray. This life was meant to be balanced. If the Bee's can balance then we can too. With a little luck (and a whole lotta love) we can work it out.
But what does it really matter?.......I believe what matters is that we love and respect one another for the experiences we each have. What I believe matters is we place no judgment beyond that… for that would be injustice and a tragedy. After all, we have not walked in the other mans shoes. No one chooses pain, yet pain is a part of life. What we do with the pain is what makes the man.
