Nature vs. Nurture

The debate of nature vs. nurture is one that never seems to be resolved. This is a forever fascinating subject and one that if given the chance to delve into you learn much about others, family and yourself. I have loved the phrase,

"there are two kinds of people, those who must live life to understand it, and those who must understand it to live it."

Looking back i have had two Phazes (sorry for the shameless plug of my business) and i have gone through both; first the living life trying to understand it, and now the second phase of trying to understand it while i live. For both of these phases i see the effects of my biological genetics taking their place, and my life long environment having its immense influence as to my actions and reactions to life situations and stimulus.

You as readers don't read to know about me, you read to have more insight about yourself, or at least this is my goal. So these are the questions i ask you to ponder for these are my personal observations that have helped me get through the twists and turns, the triumphs and disappointments of life, and helped me to progress and persevere.

1. What is your deep seated motivation to live as you do?
2. What are you most proud of in your life?
3. What makes what you are proud of so special, or different that you have chosen it?
4. What are you ashamed of?
5. Why are you ashamed of this?
6. Would you change it if you could, or has it developed your character?
7. If you were to die tomorrow, are the people you love and want in your life surrounding you now? If not, why not?
8. Are you living authentically?

These are all important questions to examine, ones that may need visiting from time to time. Our genetic makeup influences us to be one way, and our environment molds us into the ways in which we perceive life as we know it. This becomes our truth.

A Fine Balance

Dozer was a fine balance.

Look at this face! Do you see both masculine and feminine qualities? The jaw so set, strong, one tooth jutting forward to warn of determination, perseverance and purpose. Then peer into those brown eyes, they are nearly human, his old soul, full of complete accepting, unconditional and tender love. His concern and how to serve those he loved spoke louder than words. Dozer was a perfect balance of feminine and masculine. That was what was so unique about this special dog, you felt safe and protected while in his presence, and loved no matter what!

As i read, study, and take classes that reflect upon history, gender differences, politics and humanity, finding a balance by allowing it to evolve naturally seems to be such an important necessity in life; yet we are so often polarized between the giving and taking of all things, particularly love.

spoon feeding Zion--she is nearly human

Human behavior is generally quite consistent. Sometimes my boys will shock me, but most often i predict with ease how they react to circumstances or any given situation. The same goes for close family members and friends. One sure thing is Zion's behavior, my faithful Boston terrier. I suppose this is why dog is what has been phrased as, "man's best friend" for their unconditional love is endearing to us as humans.

women soldiers--ask their comrades? Don't judge it unless you've been there

I love being a woman. I also don't mind being a leader when necessary, however being labeled as a "boss," well, not so much. A boss or bossy creates a negative connotation to me. I hope after 20 plus years of being a "boss" i have learned to lead rather than boss people. It certainly has taken some hard lessons down the school of hard knocks (I have many years there, still not graduated). We categorize behaviors by their masculine and feminine nature, hopefully recognizing one not being better than another, just different.
All men and all women resume both masculine and feminine qualities, celebrating and recognizing both in ourselves can bring satisfaction and joy. This is a fine balance, no matter what gender you are.

male nurses? ask their patients--don't judge unless you know

Discomfort from PAC the PUP

everywhere he's not supposed to be, yet he's a pup in training, these things take time

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or  truer answers.

M. Scott Peck

Last night at approximately 45 minutes prior to the first PAC 12 kick off game at the Rice Eccles stadium the University of Utah Utes hosted Montana State. i wanted to be part of the festivities as i am a student and fan (without tickets to the game) so i took my dog Zion and my new grandog PAC on a walk--destination: MUSS section touted as one of the best college crowds in the country,  to join the crowd and meet up with my kids. PAC the effervescent American/English Bulldog PUP did rather well walking beside Zion in his newly purchased red (albeit too big) harness.

Grandmog was quite pleased, then it happened, we are outside the stadium and the band begins to pound on the percussion; and PAC starts into some fit of panic and squirming unfamiliar to me and certainly uncomfortable to bystanders as no one seems to come to the aid of the funny lady battling with one out of control dog and one completely disinterested yet well-behaved dog.  Hummm?

I shuffled PAC as far away from the sound, which happened to be on the curb of 5th South, certainly not a quiet street being shortly before the biggest game ever to be hosted at the stadium. "OK! Where is the DOG WHISPERER?!"
 

PAC's "Dog Whisperer" Dad Tan

I think to myself "calm and assertive." I hold PAC closely to my body and calmly rock him. Zion is basically nonchalantly acting..."as IF PAC, get a hold of yourself, we are in public and you are making a FOOL out of all of us, especially yourself!" She patiently stands close and waits. One man does stoop down and said to me, "you have a scared puppy there?" I say, "yes." He leaves, this is no time for dog chit chat. I cannot loose my focus i must hold on to this pup for if i don't i take the chance of him darting across this busy street and getting loose or much worse he could get hit by a car...cause an accident.


 I look up and low and behold a UofU VIP bus is slowing in front of me on the road and i pick that pup up (all 30 squirming lbs) of him, Zion faithfully following me no matter where i go. Driver sees my determination to get on that bus no matter what, he opens the door and i say "i need a ride, just a block or two or i'm going to lose control of this nervous pup." The driver is not so amused. But the VIP's on the bus are kind and inquisitive to my darling scared grandog and we enjoy dog talk for less than 5 minutes, and i am in safety zone past the heavy sound of percussion.  We have control, not calm, but at least control.

but can i trust you?

I seem to find myself in these predicaments at times and then i look for the lessons and it is summed up in this...PAC and I learned to trust one another during that time. We were both uncomfortable for a time, but through that trust we found a way to work through a situation that could have turned out unfavorably. We bonded that much more and for that i am even more crazy about that pup. i expect our relationship to continue to grow. that's how it works, risk, put it out there, trust, learn, grow, move forward, repeat. When i think about it the alternative is to retreat, think he is too much work or give up. When unconditional love is the prize it's worth some discomfort, and searching for different ways could be exactly what the PAC needs.

contentment after the discomfort