Enjoy The View

I grew up on a farm. I don't believe until the last two weeks I have ever appreciated or even comprehended the work of a farmer, the iron will of a farmer, the tenacity of a farmer...and the sheer exhaustion that a farmer endures year after year after year.

I suppose some years are better than others for a farmer, not much different than how life is better some years more than others. When true understanding takes place, there is pain that is just part of the road. When that pain seeps into every sinew of our mind, body and soul, well, then it is enlightening. Pain is a teacher. Necessary at times, and also unnecessary at times.

On our farm there was a mile country road from our house straight West to the church. It was a dirt road when I was a little girl, then it was paved, and then every few years they would gravel it. When I was little I loved walking down "the lane" (that's what we called it). My favorite time of year was just before harvest, the corn stalks were so tall on both sides of the lane.  It was a farmer's daughters enchanted forrest, and I loved it! It is hard to estimate how many times my family and I walked up and down that lane, together or separately, the simple walks each time brought a new experience.

A canal ran diagonally thru the lane and although I was told not to play in the canal, we (meaning my friends, cousins and my brother), would do it anyway. What great memories we have of that slimy canal, tubing, water skiing (motorcycle acting as boat), and swimming along with the slow current.

My parents biggest fear would be that one of us kids would fall in the canal and drown. Drowning was always the one death I feared more than all others, but I was a pretty good swimmer and often times my brother was around. I always knew if I got into a tight spot he would save me. I also knew he would get in more trouble for what ever mischief we were causing from my dad, the iron-man farmer.

I am now 50 years old and if I wrote 5 chapters of my life it would go something like this:

Chapter 1: I skipped down the lane. I fell in the canal. It wasn't my fault, I didn't even see it there. I got out.

Chapter 2: I ran down the lane. I saw the canal and fell in it anyway. It wasn't my fault. I got out.

Chapter 3: I raced down the lane, oblivious to the beauties around me. I saw the canal, fell in. It was my fault. I got out. I didn't even realize someone was there to help me.

Chapter 4: I walked down the lane, seeing some of the beauties around me, but I did not appreciate them. I saw the canal; and I went around it. I didn't realize the wisdom of what looking into the canal without falling in would bring me.

Chapter 5: I haven't walked down the lane yet, and in fact, rather than walking down the lane at all I would rather fly high up above, take it all in, that sacred land I grew up on, and just enjoy the view!

Surrender to what IS! Examination

Today begins the end of a long journey. 26 years ago in August 1987 we opened our first salon inside of my very good friend, Ryne Hazen's photo studio.  We hosted fashion shows and hair shows, held meetings, gave presentations...and performed hundreds of makeovers.

Ogden Phazes in the 1990's

Hair Show in the Ogden City Mall, 1990's

Christmas Motivational Staff Meeting, 1990's!

I had many a tears in my office, countless giggles, and some double-over belly laughs! I made lifelong friends, no enemies to my knowledge, and now tuck away all these memories, and return to exactly where I started. Spring to Summer to FAll, but WHere??

How blessed I have been to have all these life lessons; packaged up into more phazes than I can count. My 20's, egotistical and full of myself. My 30's, prospering, playing, raising boys, and searching for my place in the world, and my 40s, harsh realities, looking myself in the mirror, and asking the ever elusive question... Who AM I? and What do I want??? For some, their path is set, they never question or veer from what is before them. I admire and respect that. I also have love and respect for myself, for seeking my truth, and my path.

My life with family and business has always been intertwined. My family has supported me, and believed in me. They stood by me when they disagreed; they loved me when I failed, and they rejoiced when I succeeded.

I remember a conversation I had with my father, he said, "it's important that I am successful in life." What does that mean??...and now in the twighlights of their lives...I know what success is...for our family!

Dying in peace, Forgiving forgetting and forging forward. Loving without conditions; and  

Surrendering to  what IS!!

10 days from now I will begin my senior year at the University of Utah, living with my two youngest boys; our two dogs, Zion and PAC; and begin or rather complete another journey started many years ago.

All things come Full circle. Three and a half years ago, and 25 years before that, I started college and did not finish school, but started a business-- Phazes became my focus for a time, and my focus changes once again.

Look at your life and examine it, take little account as to whether your journey gave you an A of an F (I have had both). And then choose to LIVE, Joyfully and Authentically! It is your choice. Always.~

Examination 

No Place Like Home

Yesterday was my birthday. 50Th! My weekend was filled with joy... 

 

my boys and the doggies,

 my family,

 

my friends.

 

Saturday, bright and early my son Chase, proposed--professed his unwavering devotion to Lauren.

 The love, heartache, relief, hope and honor displayed was truthful,

 and intimate (even though Tandin (brother) filming, and Steve (balloon friend pilot) was navigating.

 I huffed and puffed as I filmed their landing, running through fields, Zion in tow...

 ...and it seemed like something out of the Wizard of Oz as my babies landed...

only to share in the good news that, there is NO place like home (our hearts).

Zion was picked up and returned safely and coincidentally, (NOT), by This father and son. 

They spotted Zion running through the fields and thought it was their Boston, Roxee! 

Yes their other dog's name...Dozer. 

We shared stories of our dynamic duos, and I walked away with gladness in my heart knowing that 

the two yeawhoo's were with us in every way, 

YES, they were there, sharing what they were so much a part of 

when Chase returned home 5 years ago.

Tj's house fire, May 2011

This pic does evoke emotion for me, these times were hard, none of us could understand why life seemed to be tumbling down around all of us in every way, 

Roxee, Me and Dozer when they were pups

...yet more understanding comes each day, and I accept and know that things are exactly as they should be. I am grateful and blessed beyond.

Our lives unfold like stories and we live in them, and learn from them, and live now, in the present, digesting it all and rejoice in all of it, the heartache, the love, the pain and the pleasure, for without it...where would the meaning be??

As for me? I am ready,

ready to put my boots up

and see where Red Shoes, committed love, and living right in the midst of 

"no place like Home," takes me!

I have a daughter, she came to me years ago and I asked her to please write to my son Chase while he was on his mission. Our entire family needed this perfect young lady in our lives. 

She has a beautiful authentic mother, my friend April that has given Lauren qualities of innocence, beauty and a love for others unconditionally that we all share.

Me, Lauren, April and so sweet, so perfect Catherine!

 

 

 

What a day...what a life...there is no place like home!