Until Tomorrow

What's important to you?  
What motivates you? 
What do you fear the most?

What brings about those fears? Often we fear what we do not know or cannot control, last time I checked no one has a crystal ball that actually works, do they?



We as human beings have a tendency to compare...be it our material possessions, our appearance, our status, even our children! We jockey one against another and it is all to our self detriment. It is human nature to be self interested and it is also human nature to steer away from pain...for these reasons we conflict in so many ways.

Our family is no different and we have gone through divorce, death, bankruptcy, religious dissension, and political dogma.

We roast each other for our foibles and sometimes hurt each other's feeling...and we get over it...






our family is a group of communicators, and through pain and strife, we end up working it out.

My Mom and Rondy Mom2 sharing laughs about the grandchildren

Love conquers all.

I am going to take some time off from wildflowers and weeds blog. I have some people, projects, and priorities that I would like to give complete attention to. There is a time and a season for everything. Summer is my favorite season; I intend to enjoy it.

I don't know what's ahead. No one ever does, but I trust and move forward with complete faith and optimism for what ever the future holds is... as it should be.

Politics!

Osama Bin Laden is dead, or is he? Interesting stuff? Yes. Does it matter? Yes. Can you believe everything you hear?

I'm NO more inclined to talk politics now, (even though it is my minor) than I was years before...for these reasons: 

• depending on one's vantage point ideas and beliefs differ 
• the dogma often times becomes so strong you cannot hear the facts above the opinion and emotion
• we often only know the facts that support our viewpoint
• who can you trust to report the "truth"
• if what is being reported politically is repetitive or sensationalized its just media  
• I have more constructive things to do than hate everything about what is going on in my country and the world

 For the record I don't trust or believe everything I hear or read, but what does it really matter in your life? What matters in the big scheme of things to me, is my part and contribution as a citizen and holistic entity to the world is, am I doing MY best?

When you are in school facebook is a required course of distraction. It's convenient to pop in and read a brainless news feed. It is rather addictive when a professor is droning on...yes even for the "non-trad's." One of my "friends" on facebook went on a four letter tirade towards the government about Bin Laden, which yes we have free speech, but if one is SO unhappy and upset, maybe one should change. Many borders are open into other countries. Just saying.

We don't have all the answers. Politically, personally, this is a life journey, and we work on getting the most out of it that we can. One step at a time.

Cancer & Friendships

I have been spending some time this last week at the hospital with a dear friend whose husband has cancer. She was my dance teacher when I was a teenager and our families have been intertwining ever since. Her husband and my father have been trekking to Idaho for holistic treatments and it has improved the quality of both of their lives, and the bonus, a beautiful friendship between Dad and Jerry was formed.

We have had tender, straightforward and poignant talks of death amongst several of us, both at my visits to the hospital and my conversations with my own family as I brought back reports of Jerry and the families circumstances. Each day brought about new emotions of either progress or setbacks, as only this type of life altering situation does.

I copied this quote Dixie had tucked in her purse in my favorite little book "Stillness Speaks"...

"I am not afraid of tomorrow for I have seen yesterday and I love today."

 ---William Allen White

This past six months and past week has taught me immense, HUGE life lessons...I do not fear death...in any respect...I mourn the idea, the very fact that I know, but can fully embrace the fact that my father, my brother who already passed away tragically nearly 18 years ago, and all whom i love WiLL die. I have shamefully begged to die many times in my life; whether that be because of my mood disorder or my situations, it does not matter. I am over that now because what I know NOW is that I TRUST; I fear no more. This life is meant to live until we die. There is a time for everything, a time to suffer, a time to mourn, a time to learn, a time to teach and this life is meant to be happy, but happiness is a choice.

The question remains in the bravery of choosing happiness over being a victim.