Cancer, SDB's and HELL Part II

SDB's...or Self Destructive Behavior! We all do it, but to what degree? And do we recognize and own it? And is it life threatening? Drunk driving, drugs, over-eating, under-eating, over-working, over-playing, self-absorption, self-deprecating, or even giving up when cancer is the diagnosis? These are quite introspective questions.

As I had the pleasure of reading more posts from the Mesothelioma Cancer Blog I was inspired by the story of Heather Von St. James who had her lung removed, the lining around her lung, her 6th rib, and the left half of her diaphragm. The lining of her heart was replaced with surgical gortex. A heated chemotherapy treatment called "shake and bake" which heats a drug and was pumped through her chest cavity swirled around for an hour and pumped back out is partially credited for saving her life. What seems completely obvious to me was her will to live, her optimism took over and the mantra, "Dying was not an option." Powerful. Inspiring. I saw this same strong will in my Dad. Again, powerful, inspiring, and a blessing...to many.

We make choices in our lives. We make them every day. And we make mistakes, which in turn can bring us heartache and pain, yet if we are brave enough to face those mistakes and learn from them, we become richer by the day.

This is life and going through these things with those we love makes the journey that much more meaningful. Self destruction, sickness, recovery, health, death, all of these things are the roads we travel. Some of them alone, some together. All of them necessary to get to our final destination. When we can get to the point when we can look back, count our blessings and know that the pain, the mistakes and all the lessons brought us to who and where we are presently; and we can be thankful and grateful with no regrets, then life is sweet.

Is going through HELL part of appreciating and knowing when you may have already been or experienced HEAVEN? Can you experience Heaven here on earth? I have no doubt if asked, many of you would say you have experienced Hell. What and why the differences?

Much love on your journey, Lori~

Cancer, SDB's, and HELL Part I

Dad and Rondy Mom2 at Subway after Whole Health Treatment before Chemo started

Last November I was reeling with Headaches, Homework and Cancer. This year there is still homework, some headaches mixed with backaches, but no cancer! Seriously, my Dad, the tough yet humble old farmer that he is; brilliant, stubborn, cocky, kind, humorous, serious, take charge, loving man promised a miracle...and He, meaning the Lord, delivered. Esophageal cancer gone.

Dad and my sis Sherry...tender.

I must admit I was fearful and lacked faith. However my parents have provided my sister and me with a level of stability that I suppose comes with many "dysfunctional loving families." I honor and admire my parents for all they stand for, endured and overcame throughout their lives. All 3 of them have great integrity and character born from their trials in life. 


 
 I received an email and information about lung cancer/mesothelioma from a reader back in August and he asked me if I would spread the word about lung cancer. Lung cancer is the second-most diagnosed cancer in both men and women. This disease is responsible for more than one-fourth of all cancer deaths that occur in the United States each year.

While the victims used to be overwhelmingly men, that gap is closing, says the ACS. Cigarette smoking remains the major reason for the disease, but environmental factors, exposure to second-hand smoke, and exposure to asbestos or radon are also responsible for many cases of this aggressive cancer.

Read more: http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/#ixzz1eLrEz8v7

As it goes in life we generally are not so interested in something unless it touches us personally. I remember as a young girl the fear of losing my beloved Grandma and Grandpa King because they smoked; I remember hearing that smoking would "kill you." In fact lung cancer did kill my Grandma and my Aunt Barbara, both in their 60's. My beautiful mother cared for these women whom she loved to the core to the day they died, loving them unconditionally. Yes, smoking kills and we have developed in our country an abhorrence for smoking, it has become socially unpopular. I have compassion for this enslaving addiction that kills. Those who have been imprisoned with addiction only know how it can rule your life and the further social judgments make it more painful. There are many self destructive things we do that kill or hurt us, some not as obvious as smoking. 

My oldest son turned to smoking at 16 years old to "calm his nerves." He kept it hidden from his friends; therefore it is obvious he was not doing  it because of social pressure. The cigarettes were a gateway to a 7 year path of drugs and alcohol, of which ended in a year long battle with methadone, a pseudo detox. The real detox was 2 weeks of HELL and another 6 months of physical withdrawal (methadone stays in the body for months) and mental/emotional mind over matter still to this day. He has been drug free coming up on 6 years.

Cancer, self destructive behaviors, self medicating, all touch our lives either directly or indirectly at some time. Knowledge and awareness can be the best defense and offense. 

I wish you the best in your journey...

No Rainbows without Storms

A few years ago i started a series of letters to my son Chase entitled "life lessons." I thought the subject matter was important, so i passed it on to my two other boys. While searching in a book store a year later, after some dear friends lost their 15 year old daughter in a skiing accident, I peculiarly came upon a book called, "Life Lessons." I purchased it and it has been one of my favorite reads, rereads and give-a-way books. The messages in it are poignant and life altering.

I began blogging while Chase was serving an LDS mission so he could read more life lessons and I had a way of expression and reaching out to those who may have gone through similar journeys, i.e. life lessons. I have been open, honest, candid and raw. Writing has been enjoyable for me, particularly when my dogs end up being part of my posts, they make me laugh, they have brought simple joy and healing. I have tried to share what may be of use to others, and keep some level of privacy.

Chase holding PAC, he loves his pic taken (PAC does).

When I begin writing a post I have no particular end in mind, some event or personal experience will cause me to think beyond the surface, learn something or I find meaning in it. All things are not monumental, yet with greater examination there are many miracles that happen day in and day out. As I get older I give gratitude for harsh life lessons. My harsh lessons have increased my awareness, accountability,  responsibility, compassion, perseverance and my appreciation for the simple things life has to offer. I feel less entitled this year than ever before. I cannot remember ever having worked more or harder at staying financially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy. I have learned to trust God and let my fears rest with Him.

 

(never, ever will i lose my humor, it is forbidden)

Today I am most grateful and completely indebted to God for carrying me when I was to weak to walk or even crawl alone.  I have been afforded mental health during situational stresses of great proportion. My boys have been sustained and learned the importance of respect, hard work and that being exactly who they are is completely perfect, despite what social pressures may be put upon them in our world. We choose to be happy and we also choose to own up to our mistakes and responsibilities with integrity. This is a lesson I wish for all.

Some events and some people may come like tornadoes into our lives, we know not where they come from, they whip through, cause destruction, and leave with the aftermath of clean up and healing. Other events and people are like rainbows, the beautiful color is always there, it just takes time for the storm to clear, the sun to come out... and you must be looking for the rainbow. Once the colors of the rainbow start to heal your soul and you have felt its purity, its truth will never die. Living in full color rather than grey or black, is a place I personally had to go to; it was then I was able to see and experience my rainbow and the journey ahead looks beautiful. My rainbow was never very far away, the storm was just long, but my rainbow is beautiful and I would never have recognized the rainbow had it not been for the storm.

My Dad caught a picture of this double rainbow on our farm where i grew up. Priceless.

Timing and preparing your life to receive love is everything. Rainbows are funny that way and I love every single color about them!