Facing Fears

When i was a little girl i was absolutely frightened of the Boogie Man! Before going to bed my Dad would carry me through the entire house and i would watch him look under every bed, in every closet and the "dark room." The dark room was especially scary. Eventually the assurance from my parents that i was safe helped me to overcome my fear.

Up until 5 years ago I had hardly ever slept alone. I purposely selected an apartment on the 3rd floor when i became single because i was still frightened of being alone at night. Eventually i got over that too.

What are your biggest fears? Failure? Being alone? Not being loved? Losing all your material possessions? Losing your health? Losing your sight? I've had all these fears at one time or another.

The first time i looked into Zion's cloudy eyes I panicked. And i cried. I have watched Zion's eyes get progressively worse, i watch her bump into things, try as she might jump on our bed, and if i don't stay within hearing distance of her in unfamiliar places she gets disoriented. I have wondered if she is frightened? This is Zion as we left work last week (yes she goes to work with me everyday)!

Zion will be 13 on September 12th. She is actually as spunky as ever in familiar places. I have spent more consistent hours with her than anyone in my life and it is hard to imagine living life without her.  I know that day will come..and i will mourn..and i will get another dog. She will never be replaced, but i will share the unconditional love and companionship she taught me with another special dog.

And so as Zion faces fear, i too face the fear of being without her. She has brought me joy, peace, comfort, companionship and unconditional love.

But life goes on. And while Zion's steps are unsure and winding down..Collin's my first grandchild's is just winding up. His first steps were wobbly and unsure, he faces his fear, falls down, and then gets right back up. The circle of life is consistently moving. Facing fear is part of living.

You can hear Collin's fear and then his Dad, my Chase, tell him, "good job." Yes, the circle of life.