Last night we had our annual Christmas party at my mom's house. My mom's adorable small little house is always decked out as only she can do with her festive decorations. We grownups anticipate her cooking like the little kids anticipate Santa.
Growing up, Christmas was a big thing. Tons of presents under the tree and we would get up during the night to open them because dad would often have to milk the cows at 5:00 a.m. and we did not want to wait until he got finished. When my kids were little it was a bit more reasonable, the hour landed between 6:00-8:00 a.m.. It would have been later, but I couldn't stand it any longer! I always had to get the kids up! Unbelievable how these 3 little boys could sleep when they knew Santa had come!!
Christmas changes when the kids have all grown, and there are no grandchildren. Yes, I have the dogs, but somehow they just haven't gotten the whole idea quite yet, other than Dozer stealing one particular stuffed animal reindeer off of the tree that he insists is his!
So to prove craziness runs in my family here is one of the highlights of Christmas for our dYsFunCtioNal FaMilY. The Christmas Story, knocked off from "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and it is authored by my sister, Sherry and her satirical son Ryan. Believe me Ryan has no mercy and holds no bounds! Sherry keeps the reigns on him...and they fight a bit, and we laugh, laugh A LOT, while the writing is going on!!
The story this year was six pages. There is a lot of roasting in the family to dish out, it is all in fun. Sherry and Ryan spend HOURS, and this is their gift to the family. Wow, HOURS of love and laughter about our families silly quirks. If you didn't love someone, you wouldn't spend time caring what they did!
Sometimes it may seem judgmental, believe me, if there is any judgment it is out of complete love. We know things about each other, sometimes more than other families, maybe that's good, maybe that's bad, whatever it is, it just is. Every family has certain dynamics. I love each and every person in my family for who they are, their strengths and weakness. My idiosyncrasies get aired plenty and I know everyone loves me through all of them. Have they judged me? Sure. But in the end, they love me in spite of me. If they don't I have realized that's on them not me.
We have learned to laugh at ourselves through all our foibles, mistakes, illnesses, and tragedies. There are some sacred cows and we try to be sensitive to those. Yes we have hit some sensitive nerves before. I say "we" and I have not ever written anything, however I had been consulted on some things to say yay or nay to whether they go in or out. I'm usually pretty liberal because, believe me I've taken it in the shorts, between the eyes and everywhere else too!
In the end the story goes that we love and we love hard. Yes we ARE the definition of a dYsFunCtioNal FaMilY, but tell me who is NOt? I find that those who are most judgmental towards others are towards themselves as well. This takes acute awareness, a GOOD STRONG LOOK IN THE MIRROR, for all we can ever change is ourselves.
I say look at yourself first and always, not other families and not people in your own family! What do you own? How do you function in your family? Do you contribute? How do you contribute? Are you a peacemaker? Do you take time, spend time? Do you love unconditionally? Are you fault finding? What can you do better towards your family? Because in THE END all there really is, is FAMILY...to be continued...
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