Extraordinary Life

I own all of my experiences. And i am well.

Those who may read the words i have written in the past, and identified with me through the ups and downs of life, may not understand or agree with me now. The good thing: I don't care. Life is constant evolution, if we but allow it.

My experiences and how i perceive them are mine. I am blessed beyond...my wish for all is to be yourself, and know You are an Extra Ordinary Special Unique Being...just the way you are...

I have learned through many life lessons not to judge, inflict my opinion, or assess another beings experiences, telling them they are wrong. They are not, you are what you believe. I believe we were meant to be happy...and sometimes sad.

In my mind, everything happens for a reason and pieces of the puzzle that make up the stories of our lives unfold as necessary. Some chapters of our stories... delightful, some painful, some insignificant and others extraordinary.

Faith is hopeful belief about the future. See it as you wish and i hope you recognize...

And who is "THEY?" and why do we allow 'them' any power over us??

Remember...

 

The light will come...

A Whiter Shade of Pale--revisited

Who Owns What?

Honestly so much happens within a few weeks time that just living the very moment becomes a way of life 1) by cognitive choice, 2) by survival, and 3) by default after discipline. And it does produces a peace and contentment even among all the curve balls thrown...whether they be personal, professional, spiritual or family oriented.

I had to absolutely snicker to myself as i walked out of the salon this week after helping a lady who had commented before leaving for an extended trip, "I would have just died if I would have had to go shop for a new blush!" Needless to say...I helped her replace an old color with a new one that was nearly the same color. OH dear ME...I think she is going to survive!!!

Do NOT get me wrong! This is my business, and I am not making light or fun of my wonderful and loyal clientele i have had for 25 years, but in good perspective, and it is all a matter of perspective, we are talking blush here! And I do appreciate the gesture of how much she loves Phazes products and my recommendations; but I suppose the important thing to assimilate here is what one persons crisis is, really, one persons crisis!!

Most things we experience are in the way we view them, i.e., our perspective, our awareness, I suppose one could say in the way we process them. 

I find it so refreshing that at 49 my world is a friendly environment. I own my own life and I live the intentions of my heart. I still have to work at it. Every day. Every night. Like watching someone like Wayne Dyer (above) to slap me up side the head and keep my feet on the ground.

Fiddlers on the Roof

MATCH maker MATCH maker

Make me a match

Find me a find

Catch me a 

SCAM

I met a total hunk on line...it's how we do it these days...

I have had several dates since I became single; I was married for more than a quarter of a century. It's a long time and things change. Drastically!

It's true...when you have a busy life, not into going to a bar, and you want to meet people, you resist...and then you join. And then you have a smorgasbord of 'people entertainment' at your fingertips. I am not one to make fun of people, but in all seriousness, who are some of these people?! And are they actually serious or just seriously stupid!

Ok, so here it goes, and I hope you find this as entertaining as i have. Some of these profiles were so out there, i had to copy/paste them as I came across these people, and then laugh hysterically...

One seriously disturbed dude writes to his viewing audience:

-->

"she must be open to the idea, idea's, that the world is run mainly by a ruling class, all governments are mostly a lie, believes wars are mostly about money, that americas economy is really in trouble, as well the entire world economy. that the future is going to change dramatically, more importantly that she is open to the idea that aliens from other planets visit earth frequently, all this goes to an underlying view of what i believe is a rational view of reality."

Aliens from other planets? visit earth frequently?? Rational view of reality??? Seriously?!!!

Another obviously intelligent man writes:

"I’m the sort of guy that tries to give out thoughtful gifts and receives rubber chickens gratefull."

Rubber chickens? Ok. ?? Really? Ok. ?

And then there is the openly admitted groper:

"I work very hard and like to snuggle when I'm with a woman to de-stress. I'm also a touchy feely kind of person."

Touchy FEELY kind of person. Sign me up, I'm feeling safe now!

Now the stupid "hunk" of a scammer:

Here's the hook first off, he is drop dead model gorgeous...obviously taken from a magazine. He uses the most flowery love language a women could ever want to hear. And then after a few days of fiddling around with too many "baby, sugar, sweets, and yes even...I will love you always"... he asks for the $1900 loan. BAM! I had been waiting for it.  If you think he is too good to be true. He is.

Tevya the delightful father of 3 daughters says:

"A fiddler on the roof... Sounds crazy, no? But here, in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof. Trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn't easy. You may ask, why do we stay up there if it's so dangerous? Well, we stay because Anatevka is our home."

"Without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as... as... as a fiddler on the roof!"

Life is precarious at best, never knowing what the next day will bring and whether you will stay on the roof or if you will fall off and come tumbling down.

Love and being loved is a tradition that will not soon come tumbling down, but you best watch your step...a fiddler on the roof may be playing your tune. HAHAHAHA...

Who is? the Wisest Man Alive

I live deeply. It is who I am. I make no apologies, and my hope is you make no apologies for how you live and the choices you make. We live and we learn through all of life experiences. We embrace and then we let go. I have character built by change, opposition, conditional love (painful), and beautiful unconditional love.

I love this model concerning change by Kubler-Ross:

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us...we go through the "change curve" and become renewed as individuals, richer in life and soul.

I have no doubt, no question in my mind that each of us.... each of us is the captain of our own ship. We choose. We choose how we perceive, interpret and use the experiences in life to grow, to become better, or....become worse--victimized by life situations and tragedies.

We are never standing still. We are as spiritual/human beings taking in all that life offers, all that life requires, all that life gives...and all that life takes...

I am grateful for my challenges. I am grateful for the humility that life serves on a silver platter, for as Socrates says:

I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.

Socrates

I will never forget the time I was with a dear friend in a book store, my desire was that i could read every book, searching, understanding, accepting and loving every individual for their words, their perspective, their understanding of life, through their eyes and what they shared...writers have desire to be understood...and I suppose...don't we all?  

Another profound Socrates quote:

True wisdom comes to each of us

when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.

Socrates

Wisdom: EQUALS-- discernment, understanding, enlightenment,...and it is ever evolving, moving, growing and challenging us to know, WHO we are, WHY we are here, and WHAT we are doing to improve ourselves and the lives of others...

 

PROFOUND. L~

If I could touch one lonely soul

I'd like to tell you what I saw,
The sleeping dreams of four-years-old:
I stood upon the stage so tall, Sea of people floating down below
And farther than my eyes could see,  
These outstretched hearts were turned toward me  
Well from the center of my beam,
The purest love was flowing freely
If I could touch one lonely soul,  
If I could heal and be so bold  
To be a spark, to be a light,
Set one heart on fire;  
That's all I ever wanted That's all I want, That's all I ever really wanted... That's all I ever wanted

If it's wrong for me to want to change the world with what I got  
Let me make my own mistakes,  

That's a chance I'm gonna take If I'm right, 
I saw you all,  
In my dreams so long ago
And if you're broken, you should know,
I'm here, you're not alone
If I could touch one lonely soul,
If I could heal and be so bold  
To be a spark, to be a light,  
Set one heart on fire;  
That's all I ever wanted That's all I want, That's all I ever really wanted... That's all I ever wanted

Star light, star bright, 
I'm gonna make it right Star light, star bright, 
I'll be their star tonight Star light, star bright, yes I may, yes I might
Alright, alright, I'm gonna make it right
If I could touch one lonely soul,
If I could heal and be so bold  
To be a spot, to be a light,
Set one heart on fire;
That's all I ever wanted That's all I want, That's all I ever really wanted... That's all I ever wanted

Kate Earl 

The Life of Pac

I didn't realize it until going back through grandoggie pictures...Pac has been 

an exhibitionist since he was a pup! Seriously!!

Is it because his Dad held him like this from the time he was a little 25 pounder?

 

To now when he is a whopping 75 LBS?

 He goes from, "Hey look at me flex these BUNS!" to...

"I'm too sexy for this couch."

"Too sexy for this bed."

"Too sexy to be a dog, oh ya ya."

What makes some species so free and comfortable with who they are, where they are, and what they are? And what makes them so innately in tune with unabashed love? 

Is it nature? Is it nurture? Or is it both? 

What ever Pac has, where ever he got it, i know one thing...he's happy and he's got the life!

The Raven Offense

Through the years of raising three boys, three sports crazy boys i have watched or listened as it may have been, many many and then many more games of all kinds. Today is one of those days, football on the flat screen, kids kicked back on the couch, and me equipped with lap top...just in case i get bored?

The 49er's are going to the super bowl; the game now playing, the Ravens and Patriots are playing to see who will be their opponents. The national anthem is sung and Chase begins schooling me 'the mom" about the players, the NFL and Ray Lewis, the driving force behind the Ravens success and pride. Chase's hopes that Baltimore wins the super bowl this year. I do too.

I am touched. I watch this mean S.O.B., Ray Lewis show raw tender emotion as the national anthem finishes. And they say tough men shouldn't cry? Whatev! And ya, i know Lewis plays defense, but what better offense than a tough defense!

As i write this blog i have no idea what the outcome of this game will be, what i appreciate is the sheer enthusiasm and passion of the players and the fans. But one sure thing is one side has to lose. That's how it works in sports.

I appreciate, no not just appreciate i honor those who are dedicated to what they love to the point that they will take a beating, face disappointment, face possible humiliation and be pretty certain they will leave the field hurting if they stay in the game to the finish. Those are the winners, win or lose, they can hold their heads high no matter what! They played their heart out, played fair and gave everything they had for the team and can lay their heads down at night clear of conscience and sleep even though they hurt!

I've played a few games too and i played to the finish line. I'm happy about that and sleeping with ice bags or heating pads help the aches and pains guys...give it a try!

These Little Wonders

Whether you are new to reading wildflowersandweeds, check intermittently or a follower the journey and emotion is real and true.  

Getting to an authentic self has been quite a journey and i have openly shared raw emotion often, for my benefit yes, but mostly because when i hurt i isolate myself, writing has been a release. By nature i am extremely open, by environment i am extremely closed. And we take the journey happily, and sometimes in the depths of despair.

My son Tandin and i have been on a road together these past few years. This road has been filled with strain, misunderstanding, fear, abundant love, concern, faith and no judgment. We build barriers with our kids unknowingly and then we break through. Part of this is growing up, the other is learning... on both sides. They are learning how to be a kid while we are learning how to parent, in a way that allows each of us to be human, i.e. living through life's lessons.

A few days ago i received a private message via facebook from Tandin with just a YouTube video attached. I watched it 3 consecutive times each time, the sobbing tears lessened, each time absorbing it from a different point of view: self, Tandin, then humanity. i invite you to watch and pay attention to the story.

"Little Wonders"

Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain

Did you catch when the boy is drawing a picture of him and his mom... and he puts the smile on her face? Kids want happy parents just as much as parents want happy kids. And we do it together, that's family. 

I love this boy!

Darling I Wish You Love

Music and love collide. It is powerful. And if it is true it stands the test of time.

"Music and love are the same things..... and if our kids grow up with music in our lives, then there is no question, they will always be loved." Whitney Houston

Enough said.

Be Happy!

Tomorrow's Surprises!

A year and a half ago on May 9, 2011 i wrote a blog titled "Until Tomorrow." My closing statement was "I don't know what's ahead, no one ever does, but i trust and move forward with complete faith and optimism for what ever the future holds is..... "as it should be."

Three months later, August 20th, i posted another blog as a follow up entitled "It's Tomorrow."
Little could i fathom the twists and turns, falls and surprises my life would take...

A week or so after my first post "Until Tomorrow" i was sitting in our living room when my husband of 27 years approached me about my indifference towards him and said "we should get a divorce." I agreed. There was little discussion or fighting by then. He had scheduled a few sessions of marriage counseling some years prior, too much, too little, too late, i was exhausted. I'm sure he was exhausted as well, at least for a couple of months.


He went to stay at a nephews cabin for a couple of weeks. I then chose to move out of our home of 18 years. I felt it was the best decision for all concerned. Four months later it was necessary for me to move again; into a 3 room space in my fathers building above my business. It's a comfy place and i now call it home.

My home one year ago 

My living room

My bathroom

My bedroom

Those were some tough, albeit funny times and I'm grateful this Christmas season to not be living amongst a construction zone and sleeping on an air bed. Although PAC loved the obstacle course it provided....

I've always said "you can do anything if you know there's an end in sight." One year ago i had spunk, stamina, guts...and i had no idea what tomorrow's would bring. Like i said, none of us do...

I've come a long way baby from that dusty disaster! I love sleeping on a mattress and I love my jetted tub i got on KSL for $400 bucks. I also laugh about the night i woke up after, who knows how many hours, as i had fallen asleep on that toilet. My long legs worked very nice as a pillow that night.

I hate pity, I hate people to feel sorry for me or for anyone, for that dis empowers all of us. Compassion, empathy, Yes! Entitlement, whining--I've seen the victim role played out in so many ways i could gag; and I've played it before, and I discovered this profound truth, it produces NOTHING! Surprise!

Other profound truths: ...nothing is fair about: unexpected or unexplained death of a loved one or divorce. I've experienced both and it does not matter how you slice it or dice it...if hurts! You love someone and they're gone, at least from this life = PAIN. And if you've been through death or divorce and you did not hurt you are one cold person or you're in denial. Now none of this means you cannot pick up the pieces and have a good life or even a better life? Heavens no! Suffering is necessary--until it is unnecessary (you have to think about that).

People pretend all the time...and i have no problem with the motto "fake it till you make it!" I also have come to know "you think you know people, and then they surprise you!" This year has been full of SURPRISES!

As i wondered back on May 9, 2011---

 3 questions to examine:

What's important to you?
What motivates you?
What do you fear the most?

i'll add 3 more questions this year:

What disappointments have you endured this year?
What surprised you about this disappointment, i.e. did you not expect this to happen?
What have you learned about your experience(s)?

After the experiences of 2011/12 I've learned a LOT! I hope your experiences have done the same for you.

Things change. People change (and sometimes they don't). You accept it/them, or you Don't. But move on, We Must.

I hope you do examine these questions-- and you live true...

 

Something

Something about this song always woos me. It has since loving it in the 70's.

I think i get it now.

Passions and Mourning and Living Part II

I'm a Believer that when we experience loss we have to go THROUGH it to become more healthy individuals.  

Mourning is a part of growth and a process of living. The five stages of grieving according to Kubler-Ross from one of my favorite books "Life Lessons" include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, in no defined sequence.

I did not post a blog for over a month for i was, and still will be sifting through the 5 stages of grieving until it is done. I cannot say when that will be.

We all get many curve balls, fast balls, slow balls and sliders but in the game of living we adjust to what we are pitched, we swing and keep on...until we hit the home run.

In the previous post Passions and Mourning and Living  i shared "10 things on my Passionate list." Now i will share "10 things i mourn."

"10 things i Mourn"

1.   Those i love going to heaven.

 I AM happy for THEM.

2.   Families breaking down 

WHAT HAPPENS? and WHY???

3.   War and fighting

what IS the story of all these lives and deaths

and what do children learn when they see fighting?

 

4.   Religious self-righteousness and dogma

5.   Addiction

for those who face addiction and win, they have battled the demon and won thru humility and God's hand

6.   Poverty

WHY???

7.   Cruelty in any form 

WHY???

8.   Prejudice and unfair judgment

WHY??? They look happy. Am i not getting something?

9.   Being taken advantage of

(picture may be too personal to post)

10. Betrayal / being lied to

I have experienced all of these things to some degree, in one way or another, and many of you have also. If you have not, you will. If you have not consider yourself inexperienced in living, for these things ARE LIVING.

I wish you enough time necessary for mourning, so that living is more meaningful and compassion is your constant companion. Lori~

Passions and Mourning and Living

Are there some times when few words are necessary, because there is so much to be feeling? I have been going through times of great feeling lately. I do that. Do you?

I for one, can be verbose when passionate about One Thing, and equally reclusive when mourning another.

It is said we can learn from history to make our tomorrows better. And yet, all we really have is now, right now. And that can sound a bit confusing?! Ya, so tie that all up in a pretty little bow... and then make sense of it... Deepak Chopra where are you??

So i have made my list of things i am passionate about; whether they make up my past, present or future and whether the package is torn and tattered or neatly packaged with a pretty little bow, it does define me. What are you passionate about???

10 things on my "passionate list"...

1.  Letting my boys know they are loved unconditionally and amazing for being exactly who they are! They have grown to be ultra amazing and unique men.

2.  Being kind, genuine, authentic and NON-judgmental.

3.  God watches over us and life is eternal.

4.  Dogs were meant to be man's best friend, evidenced by-- they listen and love.

especially when they are in trouble

or want to learn to wash dishes
 with Grams.

5.  Good parents sacrifice. Great parents sacrifice everything. I have Great Parents.

6.  If you have a best friend in your life you are rich--and lucky--most do not. I am rich!

7.  Work hard, but try to figure out how to rest guilt-free.

8.  No one owes you a damn thing.

9.  Quality over Quantity.

10. Don't try to impress or put yourself above others. Phony people that gossip, SUCK.

"10 things I mourn"... to be continued...

Pictures and Perspective

Have you ever looked at something and wondered "If I shift my perspective will it change the outcome?" I'm definitely NO basketball player and no matter what perspective i have about my athletic abilities, basketball and i do not match up. 

And take the old rubics cube. I played with that thing for hours as a kid. My son figured it out quickly, his mind thinks like that. I like this paint idea. It's...creative!

 

Now these dimensional pic's are a bit easier for me. I see the face right off and shortly there after the word pops out. My eyes can see both perspectives easily. If you can't see the word, petition some help and share this simple yet profound message of perspective.

  Now here is an interesting perspective...a play by play action of Tabby (the yellow cat) moving in on the affection of the two calico's, and Smokey (on the side) cautiously staying out of all the action. What was going on here? It's interesting. Do animals share similar feelings-- emotion as we humans?

And finally, how beautiful and inspiring this man is to shoot for the moon, hold it in his hand and frame it all up so well, as though there is no distance...no distance whatsoever between him and the moon. Remember the moon is always the moon, we just cannot see all of it at times because of the way the light from the sun shines on it.

So it is with the way life experiences are. And all life experiences bring new perspective, if we are open to seeing the entire picture.