Somewhere Over the RAINBOW

All THREE of my children have been on my mind non-stop this past weekend. This song has special meaning to me and low and behold my sister sent this beautiful video to me this morning...needless to say, the tears flowed.

My son drove back to college last night on bad roads. I let him take my car because his car has bald tires. He sent a text when he arrived safely, with an additional, "Thanks for being the biggest sweetheart in the world. Love you so much." How lucky am I to get that from my 18 year old BOY!? I had a terrible dream last night that my oldest son called me and could barely speak in the phone and then the phone went silent. I was frantic with fear. I have felt helpless as my son has been in Florida when I knew he was suffering and there was nothing I could do.

Yes, I could let my son take my car (and drive his junker for a week, big deal). But I can't drive the car for him. Believe me I thought about driving him home, but then what would he drive all week? Ewe, mother that is co-dependent! We cannot live our childrens lives and we cannot do things for them. We cannot protect them from mistakes, heartaches, illness, or accidents that may even take their lives. This dream I had last night made me feel tremendous compassion and a glimpse of the darkness my dear friends who lost their daughter last year in an accident may have possibly felt.

Parenting is a tough job. It is filled with ups and downs. But what is the alternative? You take the sadness with the happiness. You would never know such deep and pure love without raising children.

I remember the day I had T.J., my first born. I called my mother and cried and said to her..."I never knew you loved me this much."

When it rains, the sun shines through and there are RAINBOWS. I believe those rainbows are beautiful tender children sending love to their parents who have passed before their TIME...