God's Warriors

I had a short email conversation with a good friend last night and his last words to me were.... 

“God gives the fiercest battles to His strongest warriors.” 

This past year two of my very best friends have lost children. I believe it goes without saying that to bury a child is not the natural succession of life, but it does happen, and trying to make sense of it is beyond this life’s understanding.

Recently I have read several books on NDE (near death experience). It has brought me peace and a faith that heaven is all around us and loved ones watch over us continually. I believe that there are no “coincidences” and if we allow life to unfold and willingly embrace the good and the bad, it is then that we realize everything has a purpose.

And so i say, if you have faced tragedy, loss, disappointment and fear, you have experienced what it is to be human, for i know no one who has not. Sometimes it may seem as though some face insurmountable challenges, and it is to those i say, "You Are God's Warrior's!" 

Matters of the Heart

Heber Valley, Utah

It is a majecstic Sunday morning. I sit in a beautiful lodge overlooking the Heber valley. The view from the deck is a mountain ridge, and off on the horizon there is a profile of a woman etched in the mountain. She is lying on her back, looking upwards towards the sky, her hair flows downward cascading from her forehead. We named her Vogue...for what a pose she strikes. Her given name is Utahna, and through the legends told about her and her lover, we may find an opportunity to develop meaningful connections in our world.

Utahna's profile can be seen by looking at the left side of this photo on the horizon

Another view of "Vogue" from the deck

If she were real, and she obviously is, her priority is to provide beauty and inspiration in our world. It is her destiny. The focus of her eyes point upward toward heaven. She never takes her focus of that which is her destiny. There are differing versions of her destiny:

"Red Eagle desires the beautiful Utahna, and will either achieve a great feat or lead her to believe he is a god in order to take her as a wife. Meanwhile, Utahna is either pursued by many for marriage, or chosen to present herself as a sacrifice to appease the gods and end the drought. The two become great lovers, but jealousy of others or Utahna's revelation that Red Eagle is not a god ends their happiness. The tale may end as jealous warriors ambush Red Eagle on Mount Timpanogos, causing him to fall to his death, and remain immortalized as the beautiful Emerald Lake. Utahna is so distraught at this news, she lies down on the mountain top and dies, hence the outline of a woman can be seen today."

"In alternate versions of the legend, Utahna proceeds to jump from Mount Timpanogos as a sacrifice for her people once she discovers Red Eagle has deceived her. Red Eagle's deceit is usually revealed after he is wounded by a bear, because gods would be invincible, and Utahna pities him and nurses him back to health. Utahna jumps from Mount Timpanogos as she was tasked to do, and Red Eagle finds her body taking it back into their home within the Timpanogos Cave system. His great sadness causes him to brood over her body, until the god Timpanogos has mercy on the lovers and joins their bleeding hearts into one, the "Great Heart" stalactite found in the Timpanogos Cave System. "

My friend that I spent this weekend with said to me, "you can be focused, but your priority may not serve you; and likewise, you may have the right priority but lack focus. " Ahhhh, profound words!

The yin and yang of life is most intriguing, I suppose we look for balance in all things. When it is there we feel whole. Just like nature, there is purpose in every living thing, we are all connected.

There is a butterfly that hangs over the door of the deck of this magnificent lodge,  the butterfly has significance for my friend, likewise butterflies have great significance for me as well. It was of surprise when I noticed it...and yet...maybe not.

"Interpreting animal symbolism is a powerful way to connect with nature, and learn lessons from her creatures - lessons that we can apply to our own lives. Observing the butterfly and learning her symbolic meanings offers us an opportunity to apply her movements to our own lives. For example, we can relate the butterfly's stages of life to our own life-phases...growing pains, times of ravenous hunger, times of vulnerability, moments of miraculous expansion. The more we seek symbolism in nature, the more we realize we have a lot in common with animals, insects and life in the wild realms. Indeed, we are intimately connected with the animal queen/kingdom - inseparable from nature and her movements."

As I moved over the last 2 weeks, I indeed experienced: growing pains, times of ravenous hunger, times of vulnerability and moments of miraculous expansion and discovery. I discarded or gave away most of my material possessions. It was a simple task to walk around my apartment and choose what meant something to me. If it was monetary and replaceable it no longer had value to me. Simple things such as pictures, mementos and books had meaning.

Where my priorities lie, and where I challenge myself now is this: 

staying focused on matters of the heart.

No Place Like Home

Yesterday was my birthday. 50Th! My weekend was filled with joy... 

 

my boys and the doggies,

 my family,

 

my friends.

 

Saturday, bright and early my son Chase, proposed--professed his unwavering devotion to Lauren.

 The love, heartache, relief, hope and honor displayed was truthful,

 and intimate (even though Tandin (brother) filming, and Steve (balloon friend pilot) was navigating.

 I huffed and puffed as I filmed their landing, running through fields, Zion in tow...

 ...and it seemed like something out of the Wizard of Oz as my babies landed...

only to share in the good news that, there is NO place like home (our hearts).

Zion was picked up and returned safely and coincidentally, (NOT), by This father and son. 

They spotted Zion running through the fields and thought it was their Boston, Roxee! 

Yes their other dog's name...Dozer. 

We shared stories of our dynamic duos, and I walked away with gladness in my heart knowing that 

the two yeawhoo's were with us in every way, 

YES, they were there, sharing what they were so much a part of 

when Chase returned home 5 years ago.

Tj's house fire, May 2011

This pic does evoke emotion for me, these times were hard, none of us could understand why life seemed to be tumbling down around all of us in every way, 

Roxee, Me and Dozer when they were pups

...yet more understanding comes each day, and I accept and know that things are exactly as they should be. I am grateful and blessed beyond.

Our lives unfold like stories and we live in them, and learn from them, and live now, in the present, digesting it all and rejoice in all of it, the heartache, the love, the pain and the pleasure, for without it...where would the meaning be??

As for me? I am ready,

ready to put my boots up

and see where Red Shoes, committed love, and living right in the midst of 

"no place like Home," takes me!

I have a daughter, she came to me years ago and I asked her to please write to my son Chase while he was on his mission. Our entire family needed this perfect young lady in our lives. 

She has a beautiful authentic mother, my friend April that has given Lauren qualities of innocence, beauty and a love for others unconditionally that we all share.

Me, Lauren, April and so sweet, so perfect Catherine!

 

 

 

What a day...what a life...there is no place like home!

 

Pictures and Perspective

Have you ever looked at something and wondered "If I shift my perspective will it change the outcome?" I'm definitely NO basketball player and no matter what perspective i have about my athletic abilities, basketball and i do not match up. 

And take the old rubics cube. I played with that thing for hours as a kid. My son figured it out quickly, his mind thinks like that. I like this paint idea. It's...creative!

 

Now these dimensional pic's are a bit easier for me. I see the face right off and shortly there after the word pops out. My eyes can see both perspectives easily. If you can't see the word, petition some help and share this simple yet profound message of perspective.

  Now here is an interesting perspective...a play by play action of Tabby (the yellow cat) moving in on the affection of the two calico's, and Smokey (on the side) cautiously staying out of all the action. What was going on here? It's interesting. Do animals share similar feelings-- emotion as we humans?

And finally, how beautiful and inspiring this man is to shoot for the moon, hold it in his hand and frame it all up so well, as though there is no distance...no distance whatsoever between him and the moon. Remember the moon is always the moon, we just cannot see all of it at times because of the way the light from the sun shines on it.

So it is with the way life experiences are. And all life experiences bring new perspective, if we are open to seeing the entire picture.

Spirituality Defined

The Answer Always Lies Within

One month from now I will have completed four consecutive semesters at the University of Utah. My life and perspectives, my routines and overall thinking about many things in life have changed, quite dramatically.

I was introduced to Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs 25 years ago when I attended Weber State College and was lucky enough to get more acquainted with several different approaches to understanding myself and others behaviors on this go around at school. 

I suppose at some time or another we evaluate what we want, how we are doing, and if, and CAN we make changes in our lives to improve our lives? All of these questions can be asked and answered depending on where we lie in this pyramid from Abraham Maslow. If your love/belonging needs are not being met your motivations will be much different than if it is esteem you are seeking. It is highly doubtful you will be worrying much over what others think of you when you or your family is starving.

It is proposed that many rarely, if ever reach self-actualization.

The answer to this question only lies within yourself. I am responsible only for myself and you are only responsible for you. However when we reach a point of self-actualization we 

become part of something greater than ourselves and with that life becomes something much more meaningful, something richer beyond the borders of oneself. 

It's a brain twister, but worth the thought...

Tan Beyond His Years

I have 3 boys. Each unique. Each beautiful. I have a different and special relationship with each one. Yesterday I received a text from Tandin (I call him Tan). It read, "I just sent you an email. It might help you understand what I'm all about."
If you are the mother of a 19 year old boy who is going to college...does this intrigue you, excite you??? Just a bit!!! I open my email...I sit down for this one. As I look upon my email I am gazing at a beautifully designed tree type chart entitled--

"My Religion: This is Why I Do What I Do"

There is an explanation included. I quote some of what he sent:

"If we can learn to be selfless, happiness is easily attainable. Love conquers all. It is the journey that counts, not the destination. We don't remember dates, we remember moments." Tan lives this mantra, always has. He continues by saying,"Emotional feelings and relationships are most important. Tangible objects are of little value."

"Ignorance in not bliss. Knowledge is power."

And finally..."Treat other how you would like to be treated."

Tan is in his second year of engineering at the University of Utah, he is beyond his years, always has been.

After reading this all I could think was...Tandin is an amazing and special person and I am blessed to be his mother!! I have always known this and I weep with JOY...

A Different Sort of Black Dog--A Happy One

Today is Sunday and I have spent the day rejuvenating in my hotel in L.A. while my sister spent some time with friends. I was cleaning up one of my email accounts from my laptop and came across a note I had sent to myself a while ago. When I read it to Sherry (my sis) she encouraged me to post it. I shall.

How many Judges do you REALLY have Lori? One--yourself and you are hard and difficult. Why? Now that you know, get rid of that judge and replace it with a protector.

The whole world can love me, but what really makes me happy is when I share the love inside of me and share it with the world.

I am only responsible for my half of any relationship. I cannot and do not try to change people, to try to is futile and disrespectful. If my relationships are not working I explore other possibilities within the relationship based on respect and love.

Open and honest communication is key, based on respect and love for myself and the other person. Without it the relationship will falter, especially for me. I need depth and closeness in my relationships.

I will recognize the difference between FEAR and conditions, and expectations, and the ease of LOVE and no drama.

There is an interconnectedness in all things. As life unfolds we see one event leads to another, one feeling leads to another. We realize or at least we hope we come to accept that things are as they should be. Have we kicked against it and let ourselves be miserable martyrs, have we done the right things, have we followed our hearts?

Has and is my suffering necessary?

Yes, until I get my ego in check I will always suffer. Humility calls come frequent, I learn something (insight). But there always seems to be more...

If I could be as care-free, fun-loving, non-assuming, non-judgmental, easy going as my dogs...I would be as care-free, fun-loving, non-assuming, non-judgmental, easy going and happily uncomplicated as they are too!

A Blanket of Flowers for Every Season

This blanket of flowers is as it should be...beautiful, supreme, colorful. Whatever IS could not be otherwise. That does not always make life easier, but somehow understanding that there is purpose in all things helps. At least it does for me. In most cases, I believe we cannot begin to understand what role a seemingly senseless event may have within the vastness of the whole; there is interconnectedness in all things. Nothing that happens is an isolated event; it only appears to be. The more we judge and label it, the more we isolate it. I do believe that all things happen for a reason and that people come in and out of our lives to help us, teach us, and love us in different ways that we never could have experienced any other way.

This was an email I just received...it's beautiful and poignant.

Just as people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support. To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are...

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.