Lessons from a Dog Part III

This should be entitled "Lessons from All My Dogs," and i've had a few..all unique, all special.

Gizmo came to our home because TJ my oldest son, as a 7th grader, desperately wanted a dog. Gizmo was a 4 year old Pug that had just delivered a batch of pups. When she walked into the house with her teets nearly dragging on the ground and worn out from nursing i thought to myself, "what have we got ourselves into?" But her flat nose pug face grew on us and her nipples finally shrunk. My 3 boys loved her and we eventually bred her again and she gave birth to 6 of the cutest puppies you could ever imagine. Gizmo got old and she died in my arms on the way to the vet. I had unknowingly ran over her while she camped her fat self in our drive way. There were no back up cameras back then. Lesson 1: Pay attention to your surroundings. Your actions impact others.

Next came Zion. My Savior Dog. She was all of 4 inches when i brought her home from my "self-discovery trip at 40 years old" to Zion's Canyon. Zion lived 14 years. She played soccer like no other. She could navigate a ball better than any professional soccer player. She even played when she was blind in her last couple of years with us. Lesson #2: Don't let a disability get in the way of having fun. In truth, if we look in the mirror, we all are disabled and have hardship in one way or another.


Roxee and Doxer came next, only a few short months after Zion. Dozer the snaggle toothed Bulldog and Roxee, a crazed runt Boston that spent a lot of time hiding in the closet, simply because when we got her she was near death from an infection in her tail (she had surgery and in time she was a happy healthy dog). She was irritable because she was in pain a lot of the time. That changed in time when her Bulldog brother Dozer, followed her everywhere protecting her from her uncontrollable self. She would jump out of the car window and Dozer would go round her up; scold Roxee and then take her potty in the back yard. They were a pair. They wrestled uncontollably at times with Dozers entire mouth covering her face. They loved each other and they died together in TJ's house fire. Lesson #3:
Get over your pain any way you can and find a trusted partner that looks over you, even if you do dumb things.

Pac healed our hearts from the loss of Dozer and Roxee. His beautiful face and prestine body still turns peoples heads to this day. Pac is now 7 years old and still is a one-man-dog, Tandin is the only one he obeys. No one can control him but Tandin (youngest son of mine). When he visits me he runs furiously, only to say, "my dad, is the only one i respect, the rest of you can go to hell." Lesson #3: You earn loyalty by serving undonditionally, even when it's hard.

Ducati cleaning Cayennes ears

Ducati and Cayenne came shortly after Pac to fill the loss of Dozer and Roxee. TJ (my oldest son) buys in bulk, Having two dogs helped entertain each other and accommodate TJ's busy lifestyle. After losing Dozer and Roxee, Ducati and Cayenne filled that void for TJ. Two more dogs that were paired liked no other. Ducati liked to fight, then she'd lick Cayenne's ears clean.. Lesson #4: Fight like you mean it, then kiss and make up!

For a short 3 weeks we had Winslow. Kevin and i bought this little Aussie-doodle antincipating that Zion was getting near the end and i needed to let her go. Unfortunately on a mid day at the office, Winslow invaded Ducati's eating territory and perished under his large jaws. Lessons learned...dogs are not people, they inately protect their territory, but do not know their boundaries and sometimes things don't turn out so well. Winslow died in my arms as well. Lesson #5: Watch your back, your friends sometimes turn on you, and you will be surprised that is often the ones closest to you.

Winslow

The last night i slept with Zion

One of the hardest things i have ever had to do in my life was to take my most precious companion that had loved me unconditionally and served me for 14 years was on January 17, 2018. I knew it was Zions time to have rest. She died in my arms also, of my choosing, which was best for her...not for me. I had hung on to her too long. She had been blind for 2 years and i carried her most everywhere the last 6 months of her life. This dog had been through more life and strife with me than any other living thing on this earth, and oh how i hated to let her go! Lesson #6: Hold on to those you love, you never know when they are going to be gone.

Five days later i got Daisy, or better known as "Crazy Daisy." She comforts me, and she makes me crazy, she is not an easy dog like Zion was, but i love her all the same. She's funny and has personality plus! Lesson #7: Crazy is ok. It makes life more interesting.

My Crazy Daisy

Each dog and each relationship that comes into our lives teaches us different life lessons. I have heard many times that once someone loses their most beloved pet that they cannot bare to lose another and they chose not to get another dog. That was not the case for me. Daisy does not take the place of Zion, no other dog will EVER replace my Zion. Daisy is just another part of the story of the lessons from a Dog. Lesson #8: If you pay attention every day brings some lesson that can either make your life better or worse. You choose.

Remembering Roxee

Why do we bond with some things, some creatures, some people? How does this happen? Is it in the serving, the trusting, the unconditional love? Is there bonds so great that there is firm assurance that one would never hurt the other?

Tandin & Roxee's bond

When T.J. and I picked up Roxee she had been neglected and abused. She was 18 months old and very sick. She had little to no trust. She stayed hidden in the closet most of the time. Then came Dozer, bounding in at 10 weeks old, the two of them were the same size... for about a week. I suppose dogs have a language of their own and even though Dozer grew the first year outweighing her by 7 times, they rolled and wrestled often. Roxee's entire head would be lightly clenched in Dozer's mouth after the incessant nipping he took on the face from her. Ahhh, Bonding at its best. 

"Roxee, where you goin' now?"

Rarely did i ever see Roxee anywhere without Dozer close behind watching over her. I believe he always knew the trouble she could get in with her persnickety personality, and she certainly wasn't big enough to get herself out of trouble. He loved being her #1 man on patrol.

 We diapered her.

And we pet her when she begged.

We laughed at how she waited for summers to come.

And I bonded with her.

One year ago on May 21, T.J.'s home caught on fire and we lost two of our family members, Roxee and Dozer. They bonded with us... and they helped us bond together as a family. 

Our TwoYeawhoo's will be forever missed and never forgotten...

...I was wishing i had the little sausage dog breathing in my face tonight...

A Fine Balance

Dozer was a fine balance.

Look at this face! Do you see both masculine and feminine qualities? The jaw so set, strong, one tooth jutting forward to warn of determination, perseverance and purpose. Then peer into those brown eyes, they are nearly human, his old soul, full of complete accepting, unconditional and tender love. His concern and how to serve those he loved spoke louder than words. Dozer was a perfect balance of feminine and masculine. That was what was so unique about this special dog, you felt safe and protected while in his presence, and loved no matter what!

As i read, study, and take classes that reflect upon history, gender differences, politics and humanity, finding a balance by allowing it to evolve naturally seems to be such an important necessity in life; yet we are so often polarized between the giving and taking of all things, particularly love.

spoon feeding Zion--she is nearly human

Human behavior is generally quite consistent. Sometimes my boys will shock me, but most often i predict with ease how they react to circumstances or any given situation. The same goes for close family members and friends. One sure thing is Zion's behavior, my faithful Boston terrier. I suppose this is why dog is what has been phrased as, "man's best friend" for their unconditional love is endearing to us as humans.

women soldiers--ask their comrades? Don't judge it unless you've been there

I love being a woman. I also don't mind being a leader when necessary, however being labeled as a "boss," well, not so much. A boss or bossy creates a negative connotation to me. I hope after 20 plus years of being a "boss" i have learned to lead rather than boss people. It certainly has taken some hard lessons down the school of hard knocks (I have many years there, still not graduated). We categorize behaviors by their masculine and feminine nature, hopefully recognizing one not being better than another, just different.
All men and all women resume both masculine and feminine qualities, celebrating and recognizing both in ourselves can bring satisfaction and joy. This is a fine balance, no matter what gender you are.

male nurses? ask their patients--don't judge unless you know

A Tribute to the Two Yeawhoo's

Mr. Dozer

Oh how we miss these FUNNy, adorable babies...and how blessed we are that T.j. woke up... we must look for all the positives in life amongst the fires that whip through.

What doin' Gramog? Can we have some??

Life goes on now, and I believe life goes on eternally. I still have talks with Dozer, they are just a little different now, and  i have always said "he is an old soul" and he lives on and still patrols, just now from a different sphere.

On May 21, 2011 at approximately 3:00 a.m. my son's home caught on fire in the laundry room. He tried to put it out by running to get a garden hose but it was too late. Tragically he could not get to his beloved dogs, Roxee and Dozer. At sunrise the family gathered and buried them together, as these two yeawhoo's always were TOGETHER, in the back yard. T.j.'s upper floor has been torn down and is now in process of a full reconstruction. All is well.

Life is hard at times, but we can choose to look at all the good it has brought us, and look to the future for all its possibilities, but most of all...just enjoy what we have, HERE and NOW.

The Frustrations of Dozer

If this doesn't make you smile...maybe you're depressed. Dozer's Dad, T.J., is on vacation, somewhere on some coast in Mexico, spear fishing... I think Dozer likes staying at Grandmog's house, but something just had to give, and it was his ole' pal Bobo...

Sometimes ya just gotta do what ya gotta do!

Growing Old Stinks

We grow up. We grow old. My baby turned 21 yesterday. I find it hard to believe.

I am in New York for the week and Tandin will be home taking care of business as do my other two boys. Rigorous schedules of college, jobs and businesses to run...and dogs to let out potty, for as one of my favorite books so poignantly titled, "Everyone Poops."

Life. It evolves. And we accept the changes or rather embrace them, and sometimes we fight them.

I found out recently that my Uncle Brent has cancer. As we grow older we have less contact with extended family. However this does not mean my love is not as strong, blood runs deep.

I'm not so fond of this cancer plague that seems to have touched my family's life in such a personal way. Yet we surrender to that which is and love those who are, and will always be a part of us...whether near or far.

And Tandin just so you know if Dozer has this look on his face, take him out, he needs to poop.

And one more thing never forget to laugh through the tears.

I May Be Wrong, but I Doubt It!

Does rigidity, defensiveness or a closed mind hinder your relationships? Does it get in the way of your personal growth? I wonder about this. I have said this often about my family, “We would rather be RIGHT, than HAPPY!” Does this exist in You... or your family?

Dozer knows Chase is full of "Bull" sometimes!

Dr. Phil asked one of his guests on his show. “Do you want to be right or happy?” The gentleman quickly replied, “Can I be both?” My son Chase was watching and laughed and THEN, whole-heartily agreed with the gentleman! Chase thinks that is the way to live! Here is the problem you cannot be right all the time. Sorry.

Two "peas in a pod"

I bought a couple of shirts with the saying, “I may be wrong, but I doubt it.” I gave these t-shirts to special people in my life who seem to have a take charge, and-- I pretty much do everything right --attitude towards life. I love these people, yet they are sometimes difficult to have any type of discussion beyond what they believe is the way things are or “should” be. My oldest son T.J. is one of these beautiful people…did I raise him this way? In my observation it comes naturally, for this is in both his genetics and in his environment. T.J. and I are very much alike. 

I have found however that the more aware I have become of giving up wanting to be right, rather than sacrificing happiness, life has gotten EASIER and obviously much more joyful.

to be continued... ;)

Living Life through the CRAP

I know just how you feel.

Sometimes only my dog gets it.

I have had the distinct pleasure, or the awful curse (depends on how you look at it) to spend a lot of hours in bed…more than the average bear (or dog). I’m a SOCIAL creature, yet as circumstances would have it, either my brain or my body just does not always cooperated to my liking. I have been criticized/judged for this at times, yet my doctor was wise when he said “who would CHOOSE to stay in bed?” There are some who think that depression is "all in your head?" Uh, Exactly. Your brain chemistry is off, and it makes your feel like crap, just like when your pancreas is off and you're a diabetic, you feel like crap. Huh, that's weird?

I certainly would never choose to stay in bed, I loathe it, it’s a painful place to be…I have places to go, people to see, life to experience. But if your body revolts and your brain is foggy, well, as I have said before…”you try it, and walk a mile..........”

During the past year I have felt very little depression, but I have felt a good share of exhaustion. Exhaustion to the point my muscles hurt and my energy is zapped (no i don't have fibromyalgia). Life expects a lot sometimes and I’m not so good at monitoring or quiting when I’m just tired. I pay a high price for my excessiveness, but my thoughts, my extra feel good chemicals when I am 'ewe manic' drive me on. My aspirations and expectations about life are high. It’s not about the high life. I gave up caring about “things” when my ego was busted years back. Sure I love nice things, but being nice and caring about other people is what makes life worth living and drives me.

I have responsibilities. It happens by the time we are approaching 50, there's a lot of STUFF. But life happens one day at a time, one moment at a time…and keeping perspective of those days and those moments…even when a tear is shed and then there is laughter that follows—life is happening. And it is all in the journey and the journey is really beautiful, for it is the simple things that count…

Meet Lucy Lu

Soooo…here is a little thing...meet my new grandog, Lucy! Our new little Red Boston, is laying in her Daddy’s arms (yes, Disneyland Dog DAD now has THREE). Seriously Three!  It looks as if Roxee and Lucy will do just fine together.

It's safe out here! Come on girls.

And where is Dozer?  If I have three guesses, he’s either out patrolling the neighborhood, thinking he's got to protect his brood, or hiding under the bed because he got in trouble. He gets gas and Disneyland Dad doesn't like it...or he taking he nap witt he love dog BOBO. Yep, he loving he BOBO! Ahhh. Love my puppies...almost as much as my kids.


I changed my kids diapers and I'm not above helping to potty training Lucy Lu, in fact I stepped right in her CRAP just yesterday. Sometimes life just stinks. And we cry and then we laugh, but we must choose to live.

From Headaches, to Homework to CanCer? Part I

It seems my mind can race to hell and back in a matter of a 24-hour period with ruminating thoughts and piercing pain behind the sockets of my eyeballs that once again bring me back to…WOAH…glad that one’s OVER!!!!

This week, well, was filled with…deficits in the checking account(S), payroll due, homework, catching up on homework, presentations in two classes…and, my granddog pooped in the house, the big Dog, DOZER! Not finished yet…a little on the manic side for I am not sleeping…and oh did I mention my dad went in to the doctor to “have his throat stretched.” He was having trouble swallowing, came out with a cancer diagnosis, it got worse as the week went on and it looks as though it is in his lymph nodes.

So here is the deal, we all deal with a whole lot of STUFF in this life. Headaches, bills, homework and cancer, it varies from uncomfortable, to downright over the edge, on the brink, to, I’ve had it! But you Don’t, you Can’t, and you Won’t, and if you Do, then You become the Victim; and the unpleasant things of life Beat you, instead of You Beating Them!

So what do we do with the unpleasant things of life, or the downright tragedies when they hit? Hey, I’m no doctor…and I don’t think “they” have all the answers either. In all honesty, most of my answers or peace has come in the quiet constraints after a long battle, (usually with myself, isn’t that our biggest ones) comes when I petition God…and then I LISTEN. Now this listening is REALLY strange, no get this, REALLY weird, because all of a sudden very quietly I hear this conversation in my head that is so Loving and Logical, with absolutely NO JUDGMENT. No matter how awful I think I am, or others are, this voice is so accepting and loving. And all of it, as if it is a puzzle seems to fit together, and I get a glimpse of everything and I settle. My spirit settles…and I trust. I stop fearing. And I know that no matter what, things are as they should be, and life was meant to live happily.

It’s our choice to figure out how in between the headaches, the bills, the homework and the cancer, we choose and we learn how to be content and happy. All of life is lived in a -- dash --

-- to be continued --

Seriously, I Whisper to My Dogs

I love the Dog Whisperer. I pretty much think Cesar Milan rocks. Not because of his beautiful white teeth or the way he snaps his fingers and dogs obey, but because he is spiritually in tune with a deeper connection of life. Am I crazy (don’t answer that), or what?

But seriously, if you watch this show enough times, and really watch it and learn, you will catch this inner connection of nature and nurture, you will see the way in which our energy influences so much around us…and most of the time, we as humans are completely unaware!

So we have our 3 dogs, Zion the privileged princess, who is my dog that I hate to admit, wears designer clothes and a personalized bling bling collar. Then there is Dozer, my faithful patrolling granddog that would not hurt a flea, yet I will admit has scared half the neighborhood so much that I had to rescue him from the pound after one overly dramatic mother got carried away and called animal control. She apparently had not been “Dozer Savvy” at the time. And then there is Roxee, she is Dozer’s responsibility in life, for which he shuttles her out to potty and follows her around to make sure his 65 pounds is protecting her deviant 12 lbs.! This is difficult, she picks fights on anything that is two to five hundred times her size. Big dogs, horse and such, she will leap out of car windows if they look at her wrong. We have had some scenes with this special needs pup. So we have had partial to full custody of the two Yeawhos for the past few years while Disneyland Dog Dad is still filling his oats. It keeps the house full and we love the nurturing opportunities as we patiently wait for the grandchildren to come along…



Dozer dominating Roxee to get what he wants in the "pre" Dog Whisperer days.






Now back to Cesar…last episode he was dealing with an “unbalanced dog” named Chloe from Boston. She and her owner make the trip to go to the dog psychology center as a last stitch effort in hopes of saving her. The dog has been traumatized and whenever she encounters other dogs she bites her owner. I won’t go into a play by play of the episode, but what I found fascinating was after Cesar worked with her, Chloe the dog did this little dance, he recognized it as her fully surrendering to the pack. Chloe wanted to play and be a part of the pack. She trusted in Cesar and shortly thereafter trusted the pack. Cesar immediately pulled the leash off after she did this adorable little dance, which to a lay person they may not have caught what she was doing, but in the replay you definitely caught the playfulness of her behavior. Cesar's quick reaction to allow her to enjoy and become part of the pack was exactly what Chloe needed to release her fears. She ran playfully with the other dogs with sheer enjoyment. Her owner sat in disbelief! Cesar explained how he had to honor the dogs body language and reward her immediately for she had let go of her fears.

Cesar says, “I rehabilitate dogs, I train people.” I think that is hilarious, because in every instance we always think that something is WRONG with the dog, but dogs react to us as humans. We as humans must lead dogs with a calm and aggressive manner for the dogs to be happy and balanced.

I see parallels in this as we relate to one another as people. I believe we feel one anothers energy a great deal, but do not acknowledge it in our brains. I also believe IF we reacted in calm and confident manners to many situations we would have favorable outcomes. I replaced aggressive with confident on purpose. So that is the “lesson” in this blog…you have to think about it…

Just so you know the progress with Dozer and Roxee, Dozer is no longer chasing little kids and knocking them down to steal their stuffed animals, yes, all I have to do is calmly say “HEY!” And Roxee no longer charges the TV when animals come on the screen. Her favorite show is the Dog Whisperer too. In the beginning she had to lie on her back on the couch next to me to watch the show (a tip from Cesar which calms dogs). She now is able to sit right next to me (and sit on her haunch she does) while we watch. If she starts shaking and gets a little excited, I just lean over and, I whisper to her! What do I say? That’s between Roxee and me.
This is Roxee pre "Dog Whisper" days (2009) attacking another dog on TV, we've come along way baby!

Bee's and Secret's

My good Doc recommended the book "The Secret Life of Bee's" a few years ago and I enjoyed it very much. Recently I watched the movie and I enjoyed it also. There is a particular line from the movie which caught me and I have shared it with a few people that I love because it was so profound.

It has cause for contemplation...

"Sometimes not Feeling is the only way you can Survive."

I see this often; in fact I have lived this myself. To not feel. To numb ourselves...we do this in so many different ways. Here are a few of the ways I can think of off the top of my head, (I've done most of them) work, sports, computers, drugs, alcohol, and the list goes on. It also comes out in our personalities (done this too), bitterness, being aloof, distant, or playing the victim.

Life deals us many challenges and often times we face tragedies. I had a certain kind of life prior to my brother's death and a different one after. I became a victim of so many things after, and I played the martyr at times as well. What I have personally come to realize is that challenges and tragedies in life are the way in which character is built, and we either get life or we become victims of it. Our ability to reach out to others and to find the lesson that was buried amongst the heartache is where the happiness and true joys in life are found.

There is a period of time that to survive we must be numb for a while. Slowly the numbness or the "not feeling" wears off and we peel away the layers of the heartaches and we become better. We accept what we cannot change. We change those things we can, and we recognize the things we cannot and move forward. We make our choices. We simplify. We uncomplicate our lives and we find the joy again or at least we hope we do. This is Dozer my Grandog after a Bee stung him. He learned quickly. He's never been stung again. I wish I could have learned as quickly.

When we exercise we break down the muscle and then it rebuilds itself only to come back stronger. Life really is no different. We either choose to have things that build us up, such as a good environment, positive behaviors and the most important is uplifting people around us to support us in our lives. These are all choices we have.

It takes backbone to lead the lives we want. Dr. Phil says, "You cannot change what you don't acknowledge." For me life has always been about improvement, making things better, and getting ahead. I still feel the same, however my perspective has shifted a great deal over the last year as I have stopped to take a great big inventory of my life. I tossed a lot of things I did not need or were not good for me (this was hard). I counted the most important things, I counted the things I valued and I now try to allocated my time in those areas. I'm enjoying my journey more, rather than the destination being my primary focus. This is a definite switch for me.

By no means have I got it all figured out, but have you ever tried to figure out how Bee's do what they do?

I'm amazed to know the importance of such a little creatures effect on my life. Sometimes you do not have to figure it all out. Sometimes the secrets lie deep in your heart and you follow your instincts for they generally do not lead you astray. This life was meant to be balanced. If the Bee's can balance then we can too. With a little luck (and a whole lotta love) we can work it out.

I Have a Dog

I have a dog. This dog to be exact.
ZION.










I also have graciously, no custody battle whatsoever, am the guardian of these two yeawhoo's.




May I introduce Roxee Lynn Peepee Lovedog and Mr. Dozer, my GranDogs.






My son Tj, the intense, full of life child that he is, is running TJ Chapman Auto. He also runs a very full social agenda. Most humans could not keep up! This child does it well.

I can't bear the thought of Roxee and Dozer home alone, they show signs of depression and it tugs at my heart. I bought them beds of their own. Tj knew it was for the best.

When my babies go visit their Dad they are more excited than two cats on a hot tin roof. When I call to check on them Tj complains that Dozer has terrible gas and is embarrassing him in front of his dates or clearing the office (so funny) when he takes him to work. We discuss his diet, nothing different. Then I find out Tj scolds Doz! For something beyond his control? It hits me; he is having granmog separation anxiety! He comes back to Granmog's and within a day, you guessed it, flatulence, gone! Good dog!!

When Doz is at Granmog's he is, Alpha in Charge. He patrols the neighborhood. He is especially protective of Roxee and rules the toys, which rubs Zion wrong in the worst of ways. Zion would rather play than eat.

I think I need grandchildren. Not that I worry about it in the least. It is just that when I go places and there is a dog I stop and talk to the dog, and then to the owner. Do you know how much time you can spend talking to someone about their dog's personality! I know I'm crazy but this is nuts!!

When I was a little girl on the farm I loved dogs. I gave them haircuts (not pretty). I especially loved assisting in delivering Aphro's 13 St. Bernard puppies. I lost touch loving dogs during my 20’s and 30’s. We had a couple of dogs for the boys, but I never bonded with them. That was a time in my life where everything was so fast and my priorities looked much different than they do now.

Today I recognize my need to be nurtured. One way I get this unconditionally is through my dogs. Zion is my ever faithful companion, if she is not right by my side, which is rare, I only have to call, or pat by where I am and she happily comes and contently curls up as close to me as she can. When I had the epiphany that I was missing a dog (while hiking alone in Zion's Canyon), a new calmness came over me. When I brought her home from that trip she was 9 weeks old and fit in the palm of my hand. Unaware of how truly unique and special she was, all 4 inches of her, she has been my soothing balm of Gilead more times than I can count.

Dogs are not the answer for nurturing everyone. There are many ways to be nurtured. If you feel tense, you may not be getting enough nurturing. If you feel anger, you may not be getting enough nurturing. If you feel lonely, you may not be getting enough nurturing. If you feel sad, you may not be getting enough nurturing. Did you get my point???

Nurturing is at the very essence of the sustenance of life. Think of a beautiful new batch of puppies playing with their sibling and then being nurtured by the very bosom of the one who bore them. Is this not unconditional love and nurturing at its finest? Oh we can learn a lot from the innocence of dogs and children…no pretense, no guile, no ego, no worries.

The important thing and my point: get a healthy dose of nurturing daily! Preferably several doses daily! And here is the secret, you have to seek it...dogs do! They have no ego?! Huh?!

People could learn so much from dogs, unabashed unconditional love, and if you want to play they are ready and willing. If not they'll wait, no problem, nothing personal, no guilt (if you feel guilt that's your nature not theirs).

So if you need a hug, go hug a dog. A daily dose is good for the soul.

That's why I have a dog...

tHe dYsFunCtioNaL FaMilY CHriStMaS stOrY

Last night we had our annual Christmas party at my mom's house. My mom's adorable small little house is always decked out as only she can do with her festive decorations. We grownups anticipate her cooking like the little kids anticipate Santa.

Growing up, Christmas was a big thing. Tons of presents under the tree and we would get up during the night to open them because dad would often have to milk the cows at 5:00 a.m. and we did not want to wait until he got finished. When my kids were little it was a bit more reasonable, the hour landed between 6:00-8:00 a.m.. It would have been later, but I couldn't stand it any longer! I always had to get the kids up! Unbelievable how these 3 little boys could sleep when they knew Santa had come!!

Christmas changes when the kids have all grown, and there are no grandchildren. Yes, I have the dogs, but somehow they just haven't gotten the whole idea quite yet, other than Dozer stealing one particular stuffed animal reindeer off of the tree that he insists is his!










So to prove craziness runs in my family here is one of the highlights of Christmas for our dYsFunCtioNal FaMilY. The Christmas Story, knocked off from "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and it is authored by my sister, Sherry and her satirical son Ryan. Believe me Ryan has no mercy and holds no bounds! Sherry keeps the reigns on him...and they fight a bit, and we laugh, laugh A LOT, while the writing is going on!!



The story this year was six pages. There is a lot of roasting in the family to dish out, it is all in fun. Sherry and Ryan spend HOURS, and this is their gift to the family. Wow, HOURS of love and laughter about our families silly quirks. If you didn't love someone, you wouldn't spend time caring what they did!

Sometimes it may seem judgmental, believe me, if there is any judgment it is out of complete love. We know things about each other, sometimes more than other families, maybe that's good, maybe that's bad, whatever it is, it just is. Every family has certain dynamics. I love each and every person in my family for who they are, their strengths and weakness. My idiosyncrasies get aired plenty and I know everyone loves me through all of them. Have they judged me? Sure. But in the end, they love me in spite of me. If they don't I have realized that's on them not me.

We have learned to laugh at ourselves through all our foibles, mistakes, illnesses, and tragedies. There are some sacred cows and we try to be sensitive to those. Yes we have hit some sensitive nerves before. I say "we" and I have not ever written anything, however I had been consulted on some things to say yay or nay to whether they go in or out. I'm usually pretty liberal because, believe me I've taken it in the shorts, between the eyes and everywhere else too!

In the end the story goes that we love and we love hard. Yes we ARE the definition of a dYsFunCtioNal FaMilY, but tell me who is NOt? I find that those who are most judgmental towards others are towards themselves as well. This takes acute awareness, a GOOD STRONG LOOK IN THE MIRROR, for all we can ever change is ourselves.

I say look at yourself first and always, not other families and not people in your own family! What do you own? How do you function in your family? Do you contribute? How do you contribute? Are you a peacemaker? Do you take time, spend time? Do you love unconditionally? Are you fault finding? What can you do better towards your family? Because in THE END all there really is, is FAMILY...to be continued...

Black & White and Needy All Over

As I came home from my buying trip last night only to be greeted by the most zealous of three dogs and one fine smelling happy husband. I pushed my way through the sea of dogs to the kitchen and crouched down to enjoy the puppy greetings. Mr. Dozer in all his 70 pounds of over-anxiousness, pushed me over and was on top of me. He seems as of late to be extremely forward with the pretty ladies so I was quite flattered and giggled as I pushed his 3 inch paws off of me.

Zion seemed to bark incessantly as if to say, "Hey, that is my mom, she is my property, get away, I want her all to myself, everyone back off!" It never works. She has to wait her turn until bed time, then she knows she gets prime spot and curls right by my tummy and contently sleeps there till morning.

Now it is Roxee that I am terribly concerned for. She truly was IN MY FACE all night and all morning. There is such a thing called body space, and she invades it, like really bad! I am used to this and I am okay with her doing it because I figure she needs a little bonding, but this went on for a full hour or more and resumed again this morning, before I awoke. Then she rolled over and insisted on a tummy rub. This little baby does not take NO for an answer either. She gives new meaning to IN YOUR FACE. And she is so cute and obnoxious you can't say no because she needs it so bad you give in no matter how unattractive the white side of her face is, because the black side is absolutely adorable.

I actually realize I need her as much as she needs me...it's just good to be needed!

Mr. Brown Eyes Old Soul in Manhattan

After spending a week in Manhattan and I'll have to admit missing the dogs...I thought about how fun it would be to have Mr. Dozer with me as I so anxiously perused the streets of New York all week.

When I am home I can just look at this dudes old soul and by intuition know what his simple, gentle mind is thinking. And often times the two of us have great conversations! You would love his deep slow dopey voice. It is rather endearing. I actually have learned quite a bit from him even though he is just a dog and a dumb bulldog at that!

I can just imagine~~~walking down 5th Avenue with Mr. Dozer and he would say, "Hey wud everybudy hurry-n-bout? I HERE!!!"

Why does everyone hurry in New York? And why do you feel you DO NOT MATTER?

Something else Dozer would say, "Gram, peoples wear lotta cool stuff but I not know who THEY are. My spike collar cool but I still Dozer when you take it off."

And another thought..."Gram why you not go sing with that guy!?"

I'm going to leave that one alone. Rhyming, pitch, tone, not necessary just sing their name...a lot. Guaranteed dogs LOVE it and you. No matter what!

Last one. "Why I not see anybudy laughing real loud like you do Gramog?"

Doz the streets are awfully cold this time of year and incidentally we (my sis & i) ended up warming up in the women's bathrooms and sharing a few belly laughs.

...As I entered my stall, hung up my coat and other gear, and got settled on the commode, no sooner did this flash of photos from under the next stall come with a bragging voice saying, "Would you like to see my grand kids?" We busted up in this public bathroom hysterically laughing as I quickly popped to the picture on my iPhone whipped it under on her side and said "Would you like to see my Grandogs?" Which brought on more fits of laughter that may be quite foreign to New Yorkers. Yes, I will absolutely admit it was rather juvenile for us 45 & 50 year old women to be carrying on this way but this would have made my Brown Eyed Old Soul Dozer happy.

Simple things are priceless.