WHAT'S GOING ON? Part 1

I took Tandin (my youngest son) to dinner last night and we had a very insightful and enlightening conversation about social/media--the internet--

Now one thing i won't do is go into a diatribe as to how "when i was a kid..." We've all heard the stories...

I will however take this opportunity to share what i learned. 

1) There's a dating app called "Tinder" where you can swipe right if you are interested and left if you are not. Apparently this forum has defined what the urban dictionary calls, --dating up-- which is dating someone higher on the social ladder than you. Now this social ladder is solely based upon appearance (obviously). 2) On the app called "Instagram" which is a pictorial type of Facebook, it is better to have more people following You than how many you follow. So..this forum is about sharing your picture perfect life in such a way that even people who have never met you "follow" you because your life looks exciting, glamorous and perfect.  

Huh? Last time i checked, at least what Reality i know, is people have problems! People have challenges, sad times, lonely times, and a myriad of other realities (most of which are not appropriate to air on social media). I am genuinely concerned when our teachers are reporting that our children are becoming socially backwards; where they know everything about each other (or what is projected on the internet), yet have no clue who that person really is!

Someone recently reminded me of the "brag letter" i wrote many years ago, customarily sent out at the end of the year, culminating all the great things my family had done. My letter was prompted and written in satire because of how i wanted to throw up from the many brag letters i had received, so... i wrote my version of bragging, a few of the highlights were: "we were thrilled our son was clean from a 7 year addiction to drugs--my med's had finally kicked in and i had come out of a deep dark depression--another son didn't make the basketball team and learned one of the best lessons in life, how to lose--we hadn't accumulated any more debt--and the highlight--Dozer hadn't pooped in the house! Every bit of this was truth. 

Uhhh, ok, Dozer probably DID poop in the house! He's definitely feeling guilty and in trouble.

I am saddened and shocked by how our society functions in this "virtual reality." I am particularly concerned for our young people where the emphasis is on image and appearance, i.e., what vacation they just took where they can flaunt their over-pumped-up muscles, flat abs, gaunt cheeks, designer clothing and the spectacular lives they lead--like all the time! Really, all the time? 

To be continued...

A Hairy Dream InterPretation

Last night I had a dream I was skiing and broke my leg. A gentleman came to help me, and as he lifted my ski pants to see the damage, there was a protruding bone sticking 2 inches out of my ankle... and the  hairiest leg (one that is) I have ever seen on a woman. OH my goodness, yes, my other leg was cleanly shaven! Is this weird? Am I bi-polar or something?! I was horribly embarrassed!  

It was kind of like when your parents told you “make sure you have on clean underwear, you never know when you’re going to get in an accident!” What was that all about? (if you are a young one, you won't understand that phrase). Ive often wonder if that is what they do when you get in an accident. Pull down your pants and see if your underwear’s clean.Good psychology Mom and Dad!

Anyway, I have a dream interpretation book. I’m a little fascinated by dreams. I looked up “hairy legs.” Huh, Nothing.

My interpretation: Maybe I'm forgetting something I am supposed to be doing... like...probably right now!?

Moderation in All Colors

Today I turn 46. It is a good day. I wouldn't want to go back to 16, I was pregnant. At 26 I was pregnant again and going full tilt running a business and being a wife and mother. At 36 I was using opiates to deal with my physical back pain and obviously to numb my emotional pain as well.

Bless those years of struggle and trials...they made me who I am. Today I am well. I am neither high nor low. I am mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically in the middle.

I like the idea of moderation in all things. Years ago at the age of 24, I was pregnant with my second boy, my girlfriends and I gathered in Washington for a 'Big Chill' weekend. Some of the husbands had come along and amongst unusual activities the profound events from that trip was a long talk that lasted until way into the night. First the reminiscing of old high school times, then the hopes and dreams of our futures, and then the philosophizing. It all came down to after hours of hashing things back and forth was this one statement: moderation in all things.We had it all figured out at 24! HA!!

I loved this statement. I reflected on it many times. I have been blessed with the best of friends. Friends that have stood by me through dark times, times where I was rather ridiculous and stupid, times when I was loud and obnoxious, times when I did not return phone calls for months, and for some reason they loved me in spite of me.
Family is always family...friends do have a choice!

Moderation in all things...how ironic that this would turn out to be my life's challenge. At 24 I could have never known that the one that I was pregnant with on that 'Big Chill' weekend was the oneI left in the bathtub at 8 months old. He nearly drown because I took a business phone call. He survived and I pledged to get more balance in my life. I certainly did NOT and I fought it and fought it. The ups and downs, the thinking I was UNSTOPPABLE to WORTHLESS all sometimes within a month period. My moods could change quickly. This is how bi-polar works.

Today I am grateful to know who I am. That I have a disorder. I can manage it and be happy and I am blessed beyond because I am aware that a life of moderation is a wonderful thing.