Cancer & Friendships

I have been spending some time this last week at the hospital with a dear friend whose husband has cancer. She was my dance teacher when I was a teenager and our families have been intertwining ever since. Her husband and my father have been trekking to Idaho for holistic treatments and it has improved the quality of both of their lives, and the bonus, a beautiful friendship between Dad and Jerry was formed.

We have had tender, straightforward and poignant talks of death amongst several of us, both at my visits to the hospital and my conversations with my own family as I brought back reports of Jerry and the families circumstances. Each day brought about new emotions of either progress or setbacks, as only this type of life altering situation does.

I copied this quote Dixie had tucked in her purse in my favorite little book "Stillness Speaks"...

"I am not afraid of tomorrow for I have seen yesterday and I love today."

 ---William Allen White

This past six months and past week has taught me immense, HUGE life lessons...I do not fear death...in any respect...I mourn the idea, the very fact that I know, but can fully embrace the fact that my father, my brother who already passed away tragically nearly 18 years ago, and all whom i love WiLL die. I have shamefully begged to die many times in my life; whether that be because of my mood disorder or my situations, it does not matter. I am over that now because what I know NOW is that I TRUST; I fear no more. This life is meant to live until we die. There is a time for everything, a time to suffer, a time to mourn, a time to learn, a time to teach and this life is meant to be happy, but happiness is a choice.

The question remains in the bravery of choosing happiness over being a victim.