A Christmas Perspective

Something may be taking place...right before you, in your life and your perception may be completely distorted or miscued. We live our lives through our own eyes and experiences. Of course!

To step out of your own box...your own shoes for a moment? is this possible in your realm???

I watch in awe as this painter, in a matter of a couple of minutes creates this...it's worth your time and reflection.

Beautiful & Amazing

What looks to be splatters of paint on a canvas, when turned upside down, becomes an entirely different picture altogether.

This morning I picked up my notebook that i have written goals, and journaled in over the last 10 years. I have written in it intermittenly, most of my journal is kept privately on my computer. I read through the entries and gained some rather important insight as to my growth. I am both humbled and proud of who i have become through the triumphs and the defeats of my life.

The insights i gained about my life and who i have evolved to be, because of my experiences brings me both elation as well as heart ache. Today i work diligently on living for today, in the moment, enjoying what i have, loving who is in my life and what i can do to serve and love those around me. Life is full and simple...and if i choose empty and complicated. It depends on the way i flip it.

This year i have not bought a single gift for Christmas, nor will i receive any either, and this is exactly as it should be. Each year is different, and love grows through experience, humility and perspective.

I wish you the happiest of holidays~

Christmas Light Braggin' Right

 Competition seems to happen in ALL neighborhoods.

I'm not very impressed with show off's and bragger's. 

I AM however, 

crazy about humorous folks with NO EGO...

sometimes it's hard to tell which is which.

And sometimes, not.

Voyage of Discovery

 

High Winds on the Yellow Brick Road

Last Thursday December 1, 2011 was an unusual day for Utahn's, particularly in Davis County. As I drove to and from the University of Utah I was thinking, "could I be in Kansas or better yet could I wake up in Oz?" But naaaa, no yellow brick roads around here, just another day of dodging shrapnel from the latest wind storm. This one was a bad one.

I-15 littered with semi-trucks on their sides.

Greasy side up!

Wrong place. Wrong time. Definitely.

So do you consider yourself lucky, unlucky, blessed, better, worse, privileged, ahhh, not so much if you were the owner of this car. How about the truck driver's who got the protected spots under the bridges? Lucky? Were they smart or did they get there first, maybe both.

As i tossed about in my low profile car quite confident, although shaky, i still felt safe. Then i thought about the vulnerability of these unsuspecting truck drivers innocently passing through this stretch of highway, only to be tipped completely over or halted for hours. The line of high profile trucks stopped along the side of the freeway was nearly comical. Do they still use CB's these days? "HEY good buddy, you got your ears on? Cuz there's a whole lotta greasy side up..."

As a child one of the scariest movies I watched repeatedly was the Wizard of Oz. I was terrified by the Wicked Witch, even though I knew the outcome, I still had that anxious and scared feeling throughout the movie. It has taken me a life time, as i now close in on 50 to face my fears, step up to all my responsibilities, and weather out the storms that come when least expected. I suppose I have always had this strength, I just now earned enough life lessons to get my red ruby slippers.

These things skip through my mind...are some born wearing red ruby slippers? Does this entitle them to privileges above others? Do some never get any slippers at all, possibly because they never even considered they were good enough to wear slippers, let alone red ruby ones? What entitles or differentiates one soul from another? I may have to travel to Oz to figure that one completely out. 

One thing I do know, Dorothy was lucky to have Toto...

Cancer, SDB's and HELL Part II

SDB's...or Self Destructive Behavior! We all do it, but to what degree? And do we recognize and own it? And is it life threatening? Drunk driving, drugs, over-eating, under-eating, over-working, over-playing, self-absorption, self-deprecating, or even giving up when cancer is the diagnosis? These are quite introspective questions.

As I had the pleasure of reading more posts from the Mesothelioma Cancer Blog I was inspired by the story of Heather Von St. James who had her lung removed, the lining around her lung, her 6th rib, and the left half of her diaphragm. The lining of her heart was replaced with surgical gortex. A heated chemotherapy treatment called "shake and bake" which heats a drug and was pumped through her chest cavity swirled around for an hour and pumped back out is partially credited for saving her life. What seems completely obvious to me was her will to live, her optimism took over and the mantra, "Dying was not an option." Powerful. Inspiring. I saw this same strong will in my Dad. Again, powerful, inspiring, and a blessing...to many.

We make choices in our lives. We make them every day. And we make mistakes, which in turn can bring us heartache and pain, yet if we are brave enough to face those mistakes and learn from them, we become richer by the day.

This is life and going through these things with those we love makes the journey that much more meaningful. Self destruction, sickness, recovery, health, death, all of these things are the roads we travel. Some of them alone, some together. All of them necessary to get to our final destination. When we can get to the point when we can look back, count our blessings and know that the pain, the mistakes and all the lessons brought us to who and where we are presently; and we can be thankful and grateful with no regrets, then life is sweet.

Is going through HELL part of appreciating and knowing when you may have already been or experienced HEAVEN? Can you experience Heaven here on earth? I have no doubt if asked, many of you would say you have experienced Hell. What and why the differences?

Much love on your journey, Lori~

Cancer, SDB's, and HELL Part I

Dad and Rondy Mom2 at Subway after Whole Health Treatment before Chemo started

Last November I was reeling with Headaches, Homework and Cancer. This year there is still homework, some headaches mixed with backaches, but no cancer! Seriously, my Dad, the tough yet humble old farmer that he is; brilliant, stubborn, cocky, kind, humorous, serious, take charge, loving man promised a miracle...and He, meaning the Lord, delivered. Esophageal cancer gone.

Dad and my sis Sherry...tender.

I must admit I was fearful and lacked faith. However my parents have provided my sister and me with a level of stability that I suppose comes with many "dysfunctional loving families." I honor and admire my parents for all they stand for, endured and overcame throughout their lives. All 3 of them have great integrity and character born from their trials in life. 


 
 I received an email and information about lung cancer/mesothelioma from a reader back in August and he asked me if I would spread the word about lung cancer. Lung cancer is the second-most diagnosed cancer in both men and women. This disease is responsible for more than one-fourth of all cancer deaths that occur in the United States each year.

While the victims used to be overwhelmingly men, that gap is closing, says the ACS. Cigarette smoking remains the major reason for the disease, but environmental factors, exposure to second-hand smoke, and exposure to asbestos or radon are also responsible for many cases of this aggressive cancer.

Read more: http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/#ixzz1eLrEz8v7

As it goes in life we generally are not so interested in something unless it touches us personally. I remember as a young girl the fear of losing my beloved Grandma and Grandpa King because they smoked; I remember hearing that smoking would "kill you." In fact lung cancer did kill my Grandma and my Aunt Barbara, both in their 60's. My beautiful mother cared for these women whom she loved to the core to the day they died, loving them unconditionally. Yes, smoking kills and we have developed in our country an abhorrence for smoking, it has become socially unpopular. I have compassion for this enslaving addiction that kills. Those who have been imprisoned with addiction only know how it can rule your life and the further social judgments make it more painful. There are many self destructive things we do that kill or hurt us, some not as obvious as smoking. 

My oldest son turned to smoking at 16 years old to "calm his nerves." He kept it hidden from his friends; therefore it is obvious he was not doing  it because of social pressure. The cigarettes were a gateway to a 7 year path of drugs and alcohol, of which ended in a year long battle with methadone, a pseudo detox. The real detox was 2 weeks of HELL and another 6 months of physical withdrawal (methadone stays in the body for months) and mental/emotional mind over matter still to this day. He has been drug free coming up on 6 years.

Cancer, self destructive behaviors, self medicating, all touch our lives either directly or indirectly at some time. Knowledge and awareness can be the best defense and offense. 

I wish you the best in your journey...

No Rainbows without Storms

A few years ago i started a series of letters to my son Chase entitled "life lessons." I thought the subject matter was important, so i passed it on to my two other boys. While searching in a book store a year later, after some dear friends lost their 15 year old daughter in a skiing accident, I peculiarly came upon a book called, "Life Lessons." I purchased it and it has been one of my favorite reads, rereads and give-a-way books. The messages in it are poignant and life altering.

I began blogging while Chase was serving an LDS mission so he could read more life lessons and I had a way of expression and reaching out to those who may have gone through similar journeys, i.e. life lessons. I have been open, honest, candid and raw. Writing has been enjoyable for me, particularly when my dogs end up being part of my posts, they make me laugh, they have brought simple joy and healing. I have tried to share what may be of use to others, and keep some level of privacy.

Chase holding PAC, he loves his pic taken (PAC does).

When I begin writing a post I have no particular end in mind, some event or personal experience will cause me to think beyond the surface, learn something or I find meaning in it. All things are not monumental, yet with greater examination there are many miracles that happen day in and day out. As I get older I give gratitude for harsh life lessons. My harsh lessons have increased my awareness, accountability,  responsibility, compassion, perseverance and my appreciation for the simple things life has to offer. I feel less entitled this year than ever before. I cannot remember ever having worked more or harder at staying financially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy. I have learned to trust God and let my fears rest with Him.

 

(never, ever will i lose my humor, it is forbidden)

Today I am most grateful and completely indebted to God for carrying me when I was to weak to walk or even crawl alone.  I have been afforded mental health during situational stresses of great proportion. My boys have been sustained and learned the importance of respect, hard work and that being exactly who they are is completely perfect, despite what social pressures may be put upon them in our world. We choose to be happy and we also choose to own up to our mistakes and responsibilities with integrity. This is a lesson I wish for all.

Some events and some people may come like tornadoes into our lives, we know not where they come from, they whip through, cause destruction, and leave with the aftermath of clean up and healing. Other events and people are like rainbows, the beautiful color is always there, it just takes time for the storm to clear, the sun to come out... and you must be looking for the rainbow. Once the colors of the rainbow start to heal your soul and you have felt its purity, its truth will never die. Living in full color rather than grey or black, is a place I personally had to go to; it was then I was able to see and experience my rainbow and the journey ahead looks beautiful. My rainbow was never very far away, the storm was just long, but my rainbow is beautiful and I would never have recognized the rainbow had it not been for the storm.

My Dad caught a picture of this double rainbow on our farm where i grew up. Priceless.

Timing and preparing your life to receive love is everything. Rainbows are funny that way and I love every single color about them!

The Long Road Home

The long way home

Some pain is in your soul for so long it becomes unknown to you, you hardly know it's there, until it is gone... It's lingering affects have been chemical warfare silently killing you with each breath you take and each thought you make, or you have chose to bury it so long you were unaware it lived inside. My pain has been mostly private and silent, occasionally manifesting itself in a violent or melancholy dream or self destructive behaviors. This was mostly acted out in my 30's. I wonder, am I alone?, there must be others with some stories similar to my own?

I am getting older, hopefully wiser, feeling less entitled and more grateful for the roads I have traveled, no matter the bumps in the road. Life can be hard for many, and probably for most; no one is entitled to a privileged life, although the American dream still holds fast. I have not, or do not ever give up and it is not necessarily the monetary riches that i once sought in my 20's that i seek now, it is peace and contentment of a secure and fun life, filled with time, friends and family.

At this juncture I am no more, actually less inclined, to share my burdens with others, i find peace in the strength of a Higher Power. The pains that have exercised my shoulders to stand up, despite the discomfort, is exactly what gave me the perseverance through life's situational disappointments and tragedies. i hold no bitterness or no one at fault for these disappointments and tragedies, this is life lessons and the journey.

Some days it is hard to get out of bed, the day is filled with daunting tasks that ensure an overload of physical pain that will manifest in my back and neck. The difference today is I can get out of bed, in my world there is nothing worse thus far than not being able to participate in life. There were many days in years gone by I could not. Even getting into the shower was an insurmountable task. 

Each day now brings a new and different challenge, facing challenges alone as i am soon to join the ranks of being single at 48 is scary yet I embrace the new life for it is best for all concerned. My Aging and aching body is at the least annoying, yet proof that mind over matter has immense power. Watching my grown children make some choices i made at their age, yet different for their own reasons and very much each individually their own person, makes me burst with happiness and cry crocodile tears all the same. I allow them to live their journey and rejoice when they allow me to be with them, no matter the weather, sunny, cloudy or torrential rains.

I live today for me. For me, I find purpose in loving others without conditions. Today i am fulfilling my purpose authentically. I have not always felt received by unconditional love. Conditional love is cold, hard and pain at it's finest. I now know I am perfect just as i am...and you are too. I am letting go of the pain. I hope your journey takes your there too. You must push through the pain, face the fear and sometimes be willing to leave the comforts of what you have to get what you want and really need more. What i wanted more was simple. Peace within. I hold no one to blame, i take full accountability for my past and my present. I am reminded...the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. I am neither in sane nor was i willing to keep getting the same results. Life has been by no means horrible, as i make changes once again in my life, it is uncomfortable but i know i am growing and facing my fears and moving away from my pain. i follow my heart, my head has talked me out of many things many times, for even though i am free-spirited on one side, i am also pragmatic on the other.

Mental illness, though it can be a wicked debilitating disease it does NOT have to be. Taking medication to balance the neurotransmitters (brain chemistry), awareness of triggers and knowledge of the illness can keep you healthy and as functioning as any other person with any other disease. Mental illness has many different faces and it can be complicated and equally fascinating, there is no other organ on earth as complicated and powerful as the brain. There is absolutely no shame in a mental illness; there is if it is used as an excuse, or you become victimized or you victimize others by bad behavior. Knowledge and accountability is empowerment and  successful living. 

I would not change my experiences or that of my family history. I am deep and rich with emotion and feeling from many generations. I channel it positively and reach out and help others who have had similar experiences. I have yet to meet someone who has not been affected by mental illness, the question is who is comfortable talking about it openly? In absolute clarification, I am.

I have often taken the long road home.

Perspective & Unconditional Love

Some events become photographically etched in our psyche, and verbal tapes can play to and fro in our minds. Each individual can have a completely different perspective of the same event depending on your viewpoint and interpretation.

Where we may tread rough waters lie in believing our interpretation is the right way, and therefore everyone else is wrong. This rigidity is painful and a tough way to live.

For instance, one may look at this photograph and think, "BAD DOG, tearing up a $200 textbook is bad, very bad!" To PAC this may have been FUN! He may have been missing his Dad or Uncle, who were dutifully at school, the textbook just lying there as active bait for anxiety control! Who are we to judge PAC's frame of mind when he was doing his deed? Was he attacking ferociously, or was he playfully enjoying the paper as the books page's were flying about, or was he possibly feeling mischievous wanting to even the score after Uncle Chase did not share an ounce of his juicy hamburger? How do we REALLY know what is going on in a dog or any one's mind, really?

So we judge another by their actions and intent. We make mistakes in this life. Speaking for myself, my greatest lessons have been from the mistakes i have made, my recognition, acknowledgment and restitution of those mistakes. They have molded me into the woman i am today. I have learned not to judge others for choices they make, for i do not see things from their viewpoint, unless i know them well enough, it's best for me to make no assumptions and unconditionally love.

 

This journey called life frankly, has kicked my butt so hard lately, i don't know if I am coming or going, but I am neither special, entitled or different than anybody else. Life has many challenges and i am grateful every day that i have the health to get up and face each day. I am grateful I have a great family, good friends and a mind to think and act of my own accord. I am grateful to be at this stage of life, with experience and knowledge to understand and have insights, ability to listen to the wisdom of my elders, ambition enough to work hard from roots that taught me to never give up, and humility enough that ultimately I know in my soul that God is in charge. I know that as i trust Him, He can and will do more with my life as i seek Him for guidance and strength.

Balance has always been one of my biggest challenges. I am driven. It is easy for me to take things to the extreme, maybe you relate with this and maybe this is not your challenge at all? What ever your challenge is, speaking from experience...the first step in overcoming is recognition/ acknowledgment, having some type of support system and loving yourself through it, knowing that God is always on your side, no matter what. I learned this parable as i anguished watching my son detox off of drugs and i realized the love of a parent is pure and unconditional. There is nothing that could make me not love my children. This is exactly how God is with each of us, now i feel comfortable talking to Him about...everything!

Nature vs. Nurture

The debate of nature vs. nurture is one that never seems to be resolved. This is a forever fascinating subject and one that if given the chance to delve into you learn much about others, family and yourself. I have loved the phrase,

"there are two kinds of people, those who must live life to understand it, and those who must understand it to live it."

Looking back i have had two Phazes (sorry for the shameless plug of my business) and i have gone through both; first the living life trying to understand it, and now the second phase of trying to understand it while i live. For both of these phases i see the effects of my biological genetics taking their place, and my life long environment having its immense influence as to my actions and reactions to life situations and stimulus.

You as readers don't read to know about me, you read to have more insight about yourself, or at least this is my goal. So these are the questions i ask you to ponder for these are my personal observations that have helped me get through the twists and turns, the triumphs and disappointments of life, and helped me to progress and persevere.

1. What is your deep seated motivation to live as you do?
2. What are you most proud of in your life?
3. What makes what you are proud of so special, or different that you have chosen it?
4. What are you ashamed of?
5. Why are you ashamed of this?
6. Would you change it if you could, or has it developed your character?
7. If you were to die tomorrow, are the people you love and want in your life surrounding you now? If not, why not?
8. Are you living authentically?

These are all important questions to examine, ones that may need visiting from time to time. Our genetic makeup influences us to be one way, and our environment molds us into the ways in which we perceive life as we know it. This becomes our truth.

A Fine Balance

Dozer was a fine balance.

Look at this face! Do you see both masculine and feminine qualities? The jaw so set, strong, one tooth jutting forward to warn of determination, perseverance and purpose. Then peer into those brown eyes, they are nearly human, his old soul, full of complete accepting, unconditional and tender love. His concern and how to serve those he loved spoke louder than words. Dozer was a perfect balance of feminine and masculine. That was what was so unique about this special dog, you felt safe and protected while in his presence, and loved no matter what!

As i read, study, and take classes that reflect upon history, gender differences, politics and humanity, finding a balance by allowing it to evolve naturally seems to be such an important necessity in life; yet we are so often polarized between the giving and taking of all things, particularly love.

spoon feeding Zion--she is nearly human

Human behavior is generally quite consistent. Sometimes my boys will shock me, but most often i predict with ease how they react to circumstances or any given situation. The same goes for close family members and friends. One sure thing is Zion's behavior, my faithful Boston terrier. I suppose this is why dog is what has been phrased as, "man's best friend" for their unconditional love is endearing to us as humans.

women soldiers--ask their comrades? Don't judge it unless you've been there

I love being a woman. I also don't mind being a leader when necessary, however being labeled as a "boss," well, not so much. A boss or bossy creates a negative connotation to me. I hope after 20 plus years of being a "boss" i have learned to lead rather than boss people. It certainly has taken some hard lessons down the school of hard knocks (I have many years there, still not graduated). We categorize behaviors by their masculine and feminine nature, hopefully recognizing one not being better than another, just different.
All men and all women resume both masculine and feminine qualities, celebrating and recognizing both in ourselves can bring satisfaction and joy. This is a fine balance, no matter what gender you are.

male nurses? ask their patients--don't judge unless you know

Discomfort from PAC the PUP

everywhere he's not supposed to be, yet he's a pup in training, these things take time

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or  truer answers.

M. Scott Peck

Last night at approximately 45 minutes prior to the first PAC 12 kick off game at the Rice Eccles stadium the University of Utah Utes hosted Montana State. i wanted to be part of the festivities as i am a student and fan (without tickets to the game) so i took my dog Zion and my new grandog PAC on a walk--destination: MUSS section touted as one of the best college crowds in the country,  to join the crowd and meet up with my kids. PAC the effervescent American/English Bulldog PUP did rather well walking beside Zion in his newly purchased red (albeit too big) harness.

Grandmog was quite pleased, then it happened, we are outside the stadium and the band begins to pound on the percussion; and PAC starts into some fit of panic and squirming unfamiliar to me and certainly uncomfortable to bystanders as no one seems to come to the aid of the funny lady battling with one out of control dog and one completely disinterested yet well-behaved dog.  Hummm?

I shuffled PAC as far away from the sound, which happened to be on the curb of 5th South, certainly not a quiet street being shortly before the biggest game ever to be hosted at the stadium. "OK! Where is the DOG WHISPERER?!"
 

PAC's "Dog Whisperer" Dad Tan

I think to myself "calm and assertive." I hold PAC closely to my body and calmly rock him. Zion is basically nonchalantly acting..."as IF PAC, get a hold of yourself, we are in public and you are making a FOOL out of all of us, especially yourself!" She patiently stands close and waits. One man does stoop down and said to me, "you have a scared puppy there?" I say, "yes." He leaves, this is no time for dog chit chat. I cannot loose my focus i must hold on to this pup for if i don't i take the chance of him darting across this busy street and getting loose or much worse he could get hit by a car...cause an accident.


 I look up and low and behold a UofU VIP bus is slowing in front of me on the road and i pick that pup up (all 30 squirming lbs) of him, Zion faithfully following me no matter where i go. Driver sees my determination to get on that bus no matter what, he opens the door and i say "i need a ride, just a block or two or i'm going to lose control of this nervous pup." The driver is not so amused. But the VIP's on the bus are kind and inquisitive to my darling scared grandog and we enjoy dog talk for less than 5 minutes, and i am in safety zone past the heavy sound of percussion.  We have control, not calm, but at least control.

but can i trust you?

I seem to find myself in these predicaments at times and then i look for the lessons and it is summed up in this...PAC and I learned to trust one another during that time. We were both uncomfortable for a time, but through that trust we found a way to work through a situation that could have turned out unfavorably. We bonded that much more and for that i am even more crazy about that pup. i expect our relationship to continue to grow. that's how it works, risk, put it out there, trust, learn, grow, move forward, repeat. When i think about it the alternative is to retreat, think he is too much work or give up. When unconditional love is the prize it's worth some discomfort, and searching for different ways could be exactly what the PAC needs.

contentment after the discomfort

Too Much of a Good THing

It was a busy day at the salon today, but not too busy to snap these priceless pic's of Zion.

"How long do I have to stay in this air conditioned office? I'm freezing!"

Yes that's a sweater in August. And she is lying on the hot pavement.

One dog's bliss is another's misery? Could it be possible we sometimes get too much of a good thing? Zion has no idea how good she has it, but then again maybe she does.

I sure appreciate my slippers and sweater... in August.

It's Tomorrow

It's tomorrow. I wrote this blog titled Until Tomorrow after finishing my 4th semester at the "U." I was looking forward to some life changes, namely transferring to Weber State, which i did, but life does not always turn out exactly as you plan and you take some 180's. I start back at the "U" on Monday and I am looking forward to two classes from my fav Professor's.

I was looking forward to throwing on a suit, laying by a pool and reading a novel or two this summer. I also had ideas about "projects." Oh plenty of projects were accomplished, just not the ones i had in mind last May. I wanted to put all the old Super 8 and VHS videos on film for family preservation. Didn't happen.

 

My 3 MUSS boys.

What did happen is i was blessed with some great experiences with really beautiful people in my life. First, my boys, not nearly enough time, but that's what happens when life responsibilities hit you and you accept it head on. Second my parents, what awesome people all 3 of them are, each fighting their own challenges in life with health, aging, children, grandchildren and their own personal changes. They face them with tremendous valiance, they are great examples to me. My employees, for i have had an opportunity to reconnect and spend hours learning more about what they face each day at Phazes and i now have a new appreciation for our business and how they love and serve unselfishly. Last but not least the volunteering with Therapeutic Assets a horse therapy program for many special needs children and adults. The program is hosted at Allen Horse Play which is owned by my parents, where i call home. i grew up on this (used to be dairy farm) now horse stables, and it brings me peace each time i am able to spend time on that hallowed ground and remember my roots.

Zion loves every Thursday at the Stables. The horses do not love Zion, she is annoying.

 If your tomorrow does not turn out as planned, look at it this way, maybe it is for the best and all things have purpose, lessons can be learned if you look and are willing to let things take their course...things are as they should be. You just have to have a funny thing called, faith.~

Forgiving Forgetting and Forging Forward

I remember my Grandma saying, "The older you get the faster time flies." How true it is!

As we age we accumulate more stuff. 

Families grow. Responsibilities broaden. We lose some of our innocence. 

Oh the innocence of a 5 year old...

 nothing quite like the perspective of  this little pistol, no wounds from life.

and a puppy...they bound and pounce about like there is nothing in the world to fear. How perfect.

And then we grow up and life hits us square in the face, 

or clocks us from the side.

The thing about life is, it just keeps moving on. No matter what, it doesn't stop, the lessons keep coming, the joy, the heartache and the clock keeps ticking. Einstein said that we could never really comprehend the concept of time and he also said, "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction."


I believe in miracles. I believe they happen every day, and they are missed easily, because life is busy and we explain miracles away as happenstance or coincidence.

Hearts heals, lives mend and we forgive, forget and forge forward. We are born with the capacity to forgive. We may lose it, for it is easy to accumulate wounds along the path of life's lessons, yet recognizing and acknowledging this tendency can free us from holding onto this self destructive behavior.


I ask for others to forgive me, and I ask God to help me have a forgiving heart every day. I find it much easier to sleep that way.

nap with Roxee 2 summers ago, may she rest in peace

A dog in my arms helps too...