We have issues. They are getting to be serious. We have crickets living amongst us. Yes INSIDE our house!
Night #1: Kelly (my husband) and I suffer through. I am wondering now where our minds were? Were we expecting the other to get rid of the cricket? Did we think the cricket was going to crawl, jump, or walk out on his own, saying "I'm bustin' this place, these people are weird!" No way, this bugger is right under my side of the bed. I have the better hearing of the two of us. Kell has gotten up once during the night and looked for it in the family room. I shake my head and wonder again when he is going to break down and get that bell-tone hearing aide?
Night #2: Cricket starts whacking his little legs together making that perfect clicking sound. I stick my iPod in and sleep, somehow with a cacophony of instruments and voices and a cricket. Isn't this dangerous for a bi-polar person? I am a little on the "high" side right now. Don't want to be pulling any schizophrenic stuff now do we?? Too many sounds going on directly piped into my ear all night long may not be so good. Hummm.
Night #3: Dragging in from work at 10:30 at night. Proud husband proclaims, "I've got the cricket!" I am thinking oh thank goodness, this body mind and soul has got to have sleep! I am greeted by the pile of goodies that has been living under our bed conveniently with broom and dustpan nearby. Well, OK he must have been too tired to finish up the job! I'll just git her done. Lights out. Mr. cricket is baack. IPod in. YOU try to catch the SOB!! Believe me I have been up plenty of times sneaking around in the dark. I have decent hearing, I definitely know the vicinity where he is. I look like a thief in her underwear sneaking up on her next victim!! Hunch backed, tip-toeing and all... Oh, the cricket is in the garbage can where I swept up the goodies from under the bed. Guess Kell hadn't really got the cricket after all, well kinda, he got it into the pile! I take it to the outside dumpster. Peace for the rest of the night.
Night #4: There's one in the closet! No shizzz! I pull back the clothes in my closet quickly, as if to take it by surprise. Nothing there. No help from Mr. passed-out-in- bed over there. Can't find it. Grab my pillows and go up to Chase's room to sleep.
Night #5: Kelly has done laundry during the day, thinking Mr. cricket is in the laundry. Not a chance in hell. He is in full kicking gear in the closet as lights are out. Kell is lights out as well. Dozer has had an especially exhausting day because he is snoring up a storm. I'm outta here. I'm upstairs now, can't sleep. IPod in, hoping to wind down. It is now 4:30, I'm hungry, as I leave Chase's bedroom to my absolute horror I slowly tip toe down the stairs and into the kitchen...left side of the sink another CRICKET!!!!!
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. WE NEED HELP IN THIS HOUSE!!!
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